Hairballs in the Night
Posted on | March 19, 2007 |
Does your cat do that hairball thing? You know, leave little tubes of greyish matter on your carpet that resemble a small animal who got caught in a sausage maker? Sorry, that was pretty disgusting. But hairballs are disgusting, and these particular gifts from our cat lack any connection to anything spherical, so I needed to provide a vivid image right off the bat.
I’ve owned and loved about 18 of the 20 cats I’ve known in my life, but none of them could cough up what our Precious does. What’s so annoying is, she’s a nocturnal stealth hairballer. Clearly, she’s anything BUT precious, which is precisely why we named her Precious after we adopted her. We rarely call her that, however. She’s better known as Fresh-Ness, or Fuzzer, or Fluffbag.
I’ve pretty much figured out that what triggers her hairballing-cat yakking attacks is a radar-like awareness that I’ve cleaned the carpet, or put a fresh throw rug over the carpet hoping to outsmart her and perhaps catch her next hairball in much the same way a diaper catches baby turds, or a jock strap holds… well, you get the idea. No such luck.
No, the dry cat food that declared itself to be a special hairball formula doesn’t change things.
No, the gooey stuff in the tube I purchased and had to rub on her mouth in spite of the package that declared its contents to to be malt-flavored and tasty, hasn’t worked yet.
How do they know a cat likes malt-flavored things anyway? What were they thinking, and the real question is who decided it was tasty? You should smell the stuff.
I should be semi content about where she makes her deposits each night; at least they’re in the same place each time. I don’t have to hunt for them and wonder about that funny smell wafting up from under the bed and competing for my attention like that of our dog’s farts. Unfortunately, the area she prefers is near the guest bathroom, so regardless of the number of times I’ve cleaned up after Her Preciousness, a stain remains. Did you know that if you spray some spot removers (I’ve tried every kind on the market) on hairballs, they turn pink? What’s up with that? I guess the cat food isn’t organic. So each time one of our guests chooses to use the bathroom, they are treated to a technicolor display on our used-to-be white carpet. No, we weren’t stoopid enough to actually BUY white carpeting. It was in the house when we bought it and we’ve managed to ugly it up in less than five years. You gotta love animals.
I’m sure some of you are completely disgusted with me because I haven’t taken this poor animal to the vet yet. Please remember that I didn’t take myself to the vet, um, doctor for five years, and I’m not even adopted, so come on. Besides, you should see her. She’s fat and sassy. In fact, she’s so fat, she’s gone from being able to jump up on the counter to eat (no, not in our kitchen), to using a stool to help get on the counter, to eating on the floor. She’s the first one in line each day to eat, acting as if she’s starving, which isn’t a surprise since we now are all aware she’s yakked up her food in the night. She should be svelte with all that yakking going on.
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By N2H
May 9th, 2007 @ 2:26 pm
While I enjoyedthe story, I was hoping to get some information on how to stop the hairballs . Misty’s goop is yellow, not grey. Is that a concern?
May 9th, 2007 @ 3:44 pm
Hi Mary, Sorry for not having specific information about how to cure hairballs. I usually don’t use this blog to provide specific information because it’s only my opinion, and I’m definitely not an expert. Plus, I’m not a veterinarian. But I can tell you that there are far fewer hairballs around (for about 2-3 weeks now) since I’ve been: brushing her more, using Purina ONE advanced hairball & weight maintenance formula dry food, and have been using paper bowls that I switch out every other day to keep them clean. Yes, the “yellow” you describe comes up when there’s nothing in her stomach, and I’ve seen her chewing on grass outside because her stomach is upset. Oh, and I also purchased some Hartz Hairball Remedy that comes in handy about once a week. I’m crossing my fingers! Good luck with your cat and thanks for stopping by my blog!