How Rebecca Escapes from the Sucking Vortex

Posted on | May 23, 2007 |

If you’re not in the mood for a dark, hairy arthropod creeping into your day, skip the first part of this — down to Howdy Doody. Or you can read on and marvel at my pseudo ability to shift emotional gears with an audience in tow — or not. Your call.

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In a weak-assed attempt to try and completely avoid creating an anguished and terrifying image here of what it feels like to be sucked screaming, yelling, and clawing into the vortex of another person’s pervasive depression, I’ll hop, skip, and jump merrily — no, run frantically, looking for a place to hide. It will be much more pleasant for all concerned if I respond to a couple of requests by fellow bloggers whom I enjoy. I’ll get to that, but right now, allow me to wallow in my pretense of avoiding the vortex.
Granted, I’ll be thinking about the black and spinning vortex the whole time I’m writing about those other things. Things I’d rather think and write about. Things that don’t suck the life out of me when I write about them. I’ll be thinking about it and feeling its pull even after I’m done writing about more cheerful things, and then, with my tail between my legs, slink off to do meaningless but constructive tasks in an attempt to trick it; to make it think I’m really not feeling its presence swirling around, growing larger. To try and fend it off for a while or conspire silently to obliterate its smothering existence.

Unfortunately, garlic, mirrors, or a silver stake won’t help this beast.

And for those of you who remember your college Psychology 101 lectures, this is an effective demonstration of several defense mechanisms: displacement; repression; and a possible dose of reaction formation. Please don’t hesitate to send me my report card.

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One of the things I truly enjoy about blogland is the people I meet. People from all over the world in all their individual glory. People who have talents, skills, issues, traumas, and amazing strength and grace who share themselves through their writing. Two of these individuals are Ev and Lis.

Ev has a lot going on right now, so if you’re feeling like me right now, stop by her site, and I guarantee you’ll kick yourself in the glutes for complaining about your own issues. Really. I visit her to see if she’s doing okay, but it’s not necessary because she’ll tell you she’s one tough person who can give the system a well-deserved whack upside the head. I’ve owed her this for a while now (this post and definitely not the whack!), so apologies for just now getting to the task — I’ll tack it onto the end of this post. OMG it takes FREAKING FOREVER. Sheesh. How did you actually get this done, Ev? So you’re special, o-k-a-y? Very. Yes, I Faved every single person on that list, scanned their sites, and created tags. Hours. It took hours. No pain, no gain, right? What gain? Oh, yah. The technorati ranking.

Lis is quite the huggable human — someone I happened onto when I started blogging two very long months ago. She has quite the awesome food blog called La Mia Cucina and is (as I now am) hooked up with some amazing food bloggers who make me want to hide my own food in the cat box at times — like last night. News about that later in the week. Don’t hold your breath. I volunteered to respond to questions Lis has posed and I promised to do my best. So here goes, Lis….

Lis: Okay, time’s up! You have to decide on a new career right this minute. Your options are never ending as you can do anything you want…What will it be? *evil grin*

Kelly: This one is easy. I’ve always, always, always wanted to be a designer. You know. Someone who chooses art, furnishings, fabrics, and textiles for spaces — specifically homes. Really big, lovely homes. I would absolutely love to do that. Mixing and matching types of fabric, deciding on how some designs suit a person’s lifestyle and personality, and oogling over all those paint chips…..*Sigh* I’m thinking I would be ecstatic if heaven was a massive design center. It would be like playing house all day. And it wouldn’t stop there. Oh, no. The whole house design, outdoor living, and landscape design would need to be a part of the service as well. So why didn’t I do this? When I was growing up, only the wives of wealthy professional men did this. It was almost cliche. Plus, I’ve been programmed to be very practical about things even though I resisted it with every opportunity. At this point in my life, a cute little shop that has lovely things in it would be a close second. *sigh*

Lis: Everyone is getting this question, just because I wanna know! If you were told that you could only have five foods and one beverage for the rest of your life — what would they be?

Kelly: Does salad count as one food? I completely love salad. I just don’t always love the making part. Mmmm…salads with arugula one time, and maiche the next. And baby romaine. OMG I love its tenderness and deep purplish color. I keep looking for different greens to mix and match with other flavors like citrus and avocado, or strawberries and red onions. Pancetta, feta, roasted artichoke hearts, kalamatas….a glossy, dark balsamic reduction….Clearly you can see I have a problem. So I as again whether salad counts as one?

Assuming that’s the case, shrimp would be another. I’ll spare you the mouth watering rendition of why I count that as essential, because you’ll just picture butter and garlic and lemon, right? Yah. So shrimp is two.

Bread is three. Crusty, artisian whole grain hunks of bread. Goat cheese is four. The Fleur Vert variety is something I could die over — its taste lingering on my tongue and palate, my taste buds firing in sweet ecstacy. Unbelievably delicious.

Tomatoes are number five. They’re in a class all by themselves. Just think about all that can be done with them, including throwing them at people who are just in need of a reality check. I love them raw, cooked, roasted, dried, in sauce, eaten like an apple with salt. Mmmm….tomatoes. Yes, I know you’re thinking there isn’t a sweet thing on this list. Not an accident. I like sweet things, but can definitely do without. Yes, even chocolate.

My one beverage has to be wine. I know I’m supposed to say water, right? Whatever. And coffee? Yes I love it, but wine? How many different varieties and labels do I get to select? Okay, so I cheated on this whole interview, but man it sounds delicious, right?

Lis: Being completely honest with us and yourself, do you think it was fair that Sanjaya was voted off so early? How did you really feel about the faux-hawk?

Kelly: You’re kidding, right? There were at least three contestants who deserved to remain on the show longer than the San-jan-man-isto. Seriously. I just don’t get the whole vote for the worst thing by all the losers out there who are always wanting to crap on everyone else’s birthday cake. Freaks. Gina deserved more time than she got — especially when you watch how much some of the contestants grow in their ability with every passing week. And the Faux-Hawk? I gotta give the kid credit for being smart. It was funny, but is that the whole purpose of the show? I know some people like AI because of all the ridiculously bad people who audition early on. I can’t say I enjoy that part very much. It’s tiresome. I genuinely like listening to the contestants sing, and have duped myself into believing it’s only about that. Yes, you have permission to “out” me as Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Lis: We all have a favorite recipe made up of strange ingredients (for me it’s Kraft mac & cheese with tuna — Don’t judge me!), maybe we discovered the recipe by making a mistake from another recipe. Maybe we discovered it when our parents left us alone for the first time so we decided to experiment in the kitchen. Maybe someone else turned us on to it…what is it?

Kelly: I totally looooooooove homemade pinto beans mixed up with white rice and coleslaw. The beans are seasoned and cooked with ham hocks for hours, the cole slaw isn’t that sickening sweet stuff — it’s made with good mayo and some garlic dill pickle juice, salt and pepper. Add a plop of sticky plain white rice. Put it on your plate, stir it up, and enjoy. Oh, and don’t forget to wipe your plate with homemade biscuits. Absolutely, totally excellent rib-sticking carb-loving delightfulness.

Lis: Who is your favorite author and why? Which is your favorite book and why?

Kelly: This one is challenging because I have favorite authors of different genres.

• Older fiction — Ernest Hemingway. I think I’ve read everything he’s written — but it’s been a while. I love his characters, the diverse settings of his works, and the pieces of himself in his books you find along the way. And I love his sparse prose. And sentence structure that breaks so many of the “rules” we learned in school about how not to write. Like writing in fragments and beginning sentences with “and.” Woo Hoo! Let ‘em rip! I just don’t love the way he ended.
• Newer than Hemingway fiction — Colleen McCullough would be my favorite, although I’ve lost touch with her. I rarely read through authors now. Too many good choices out there.
• “Romance” fiction — Nora Roberts. Shhh….don’t tell anyone. Not a ripped bodice in sight here. Really. Although those are soooooo much more fun to read than what I’m choking down right now.
• Children’s Fiction — Cynthia Rylant. (Erstwhile educator, remember?) Wow. What an amazingly gifted writer. Her repertoire extends from picture books for very young children up through pieces for young adults. Try I Had Seen Castles yourself if you want to be set back on your haunches. A woman writing as an elderly man looking back on his life. *gasp*
• Favorite book: Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. I don’t know that there’s a more beautifully written book out there. Some of the passages washed over me like poetry and I found myself going back to whisper them aloud. But The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger is a close second if you want your heart broken into a million irretrievable pieces.

Now comes the part where I tell you how you can carry on this interview thing, if you’d like. And it was fun.

Directions:
1. Leave a comment to this post saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. Beware, I’m not shy of asking personal questions! Please make sure I have your email address. (It won’t be public.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Got it? And the best part of going through this exercise is that I’ve effectively snapped the vortex into its place. Come on….everybody loves talking about themselves…I promise I’ll go easy on you! Let me know and I’ll hook you up.

***********************************************************************

Okay, so Ev from My Life is Murphy’s Law sent me this “responsibility” and it’s a doozie. I’m still amazed that she could actually do something like this with all she has going on. All I can say is I hope I didn’t screw it up. It’s designed to increase traffic and ranking for your site. Most people would enjoy that, right? And is it any different than Bloglog or BlogCatalog? I checked out most of the blogs on the list, and although they’re very different from one another, I found some places that I’ll be checking back with. I’m not sure where I’m going to find the actual time to visit since the list is growing as we speak, but it’s all for good. Right? And the new people I’ve Fave’d? I’m not expecting them to do this, but I wanted to give them the exposure just the same. If you read this (and I’m amazed if you have because this is a really, really long post) then add yourself to the going’s on. Good luck following the directions!

(Start copying here)

Here are the rules:

1. Write a short introduction paragraph about what how you found the list and include a link to the blog that referred you to the list.

2. COPY the Rules and ENTIRE List below, and post it on your blog. To avoid duplicate content and increase the amount of keywords, go ahead and change the titles of the blog. Just don’t change the links of the blog.

3. Take “My New Faves” and move them into the “The Original Faves” list.

4. Add at least 3 Blogs that you’ve just added to your Technorati Favorites to the “My New Faves” section.

Remember to also add the “Fave Me” link next to your new blogs (add this — -http://technorati.com/faves?add=http://www.yourdomain.com)

5. Add Everyone on this list to your Technorati Favorites List by clicking on “Fave the Site.” (Please FAVE EVERYONE on the List prior to posting the list). Those who want good karma will fave you back. If not, you will for sure get the benefits of faves from the bloggers who continue this list after you.

My New Faves:

Suburban Oblivion

& Pie">Bub and Pie

Wonderland or Not

The Pop Eye

The Original Faves:

Resource Economics - Fave the Site

LifewithHeathens - Fave the Site

Kellementology - Fave the Site

EastcoastLife - Fave the Site

Liudmila - Fave the Site

BP Wrap - Fave the Site
My Life is Murphys Law - Fave the Site
It’s A Woman’s World - Fave the Site
Its A Schmitty Life - Fave the Site
Busy Mom Net - Fave the Site
Den of Wolves - Fave the Site
Marilyn’s Non-Violent World - Fave the Site

Gary Lee - Fave the Site *
Dosh Dosh - Fave the Site
Nate Whitehill - Fave the Site
Ms. Danielle - Fave the Site
Jeff Kee - Fave the Site
Scribble on the Wall - Fave the Site
Jimi Morrisons Head - Fave the Site
Jon Lee - Fave the Site
Samanathon - Fave the Site
Eat Drink & Be Merry - Fave the Site
The Man of Silver - Fave the Site
Hannes Johnson - Fave the Site
My Dandelion Patch - Fave the Site
Nathan Drach - Fave the Site
SiteLogic - Fave the Site
Julies Journal - Fave the Site
Tea & Slippers - Fave the Site
Pencil Thin - Fave the Site
Garry Conn - Fave the Site
Stephen Fung - Fave the Site
Ed Lau - Fave the Site
QMusings - Fave the Site
The Thinking Blog - Fave the Site
Google Tutor - Fave the Site
TV Cells - Fave the Site
eWritings - Fave the Site
IJHedges - Fave the Site
GR8 Egypt - Fave the Site
Divya Uttam - Fave the Site
Sean Dinner - Fave the Site
O Salepito - Fave the Site
Kyle Beabo - Fave the Site
Mommy’s Getaway - Fave the Site**
My Two Boys - Fave the Site
Internet Safety Advisor - Fave the Site
Made To Be Great - Fave the Site
Southern Mama Musings - Fave the Site
Recipe Rush - Fave the Site

***End Copying Here***

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