Update:  Under construction. No, not my body. The Phoodplan. It’s now past September 1st and I’ve only learned what I already knew.  I have to actually do what I say I’m going to do consistently for it to have a chance of working.

More research is being conducted…

But March 2007, this is where we were:

My VBF and I are sick of being on diets. They don’t work. We haven’t tried them all, but quite a few. Why don’t they work? We aren’t wilting violets. Up until my surgery, we were pretty good at getting up at 4:40AM to go to the gym or pound the streets in the dark three or four days a week and then working a solid 10-12 hour day. So why, if we are stud-like wonder women, aren’t we thin?

We lack stick-to-it-ive-ness. We like food way too much. We aren’t junk foodies, though. And we aren’t closet eaters. We cook. Cook seriously. Incredibly serious food. The problem is, it tastes so good, we eat all of it. We can’t wait for the new issue of Bon Appetite, Gourmet, or Saveur to try out a new recipe. We talk about food, cooking, and eating on our walks. Getting together and cooking, having other friends over, and drinking too much wine is one of our weekly passions. Of course, it doesn’t help to have the best little Mexican food place down the hill with the most amazing California burritos and carnitas plate, either. But that doesn’t count as fast food. Taco Bell is fast food. Besides, not all diets are good for you. How can all of those stick women only eat protein, anyway? What must their arteries look like? And how good are you at eating your food in a particular order on a regular basis? What about making sure all your animal proteins, which are frowned upon, are eaten by lunchtime? Lean Cuisine? Slim-Fast? High carb, low fat, no protein?

VBF and I have learned quite a bit along the way, though, so we figured we’d put together our own “diet” or Phoodplan. Anything has to be better than eating cabbage soup every day. It goes something like this:

Starting Monday, March 12, we will lose 2 lbs. a week by eating what is good for our bodies in very controlled portions because we have trouble with that portion thing and we don’t want our taste buds to die. Plus, we know that eating throughout the day is important. So, we’ve scheduled three meals, and two snacks per day. Limit coffee to one cup a day. Limit wine to two weekend nights and only a total of eight ounces. Sigh. Plus, we’ve agreed to write down what we eat. And if we cheat, we have to confess — immediately. Email works. It’s in print, it’s public, and you can confess and get yourself back on track. Of course, the point is to not have to rat on yourself because you haven’t cheated.

Yes, we’re exercising, too. Seven days a week in some fashion, but mostly cardio. Since I had major surgery 11 weeks ago today and am still trying to get my abdominal muscles back (what is that blob down there?), my workout is a bit different. Basically, light weights are used slow lift style four days a week. Standing leg lifts (hands behind head, elbows out) with opposite elbow touching lifted knee for 50 reps work for me four days a week. My VBF does crunches on one of those big exercise balls — 50 reps four days a week. Walking at a fast pace for at least 30 minutes absolutely once a day, and preferably twice a day.

So you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? This person doesn’t work for a living and has all the time in the world,” right? Yes, but, my VBF works an average of 12 hours a day. Really. So we have the makings of a terrific experiment here. We’ll call it “The Effect of the Phoodplan on Working and Not Working 40+ Women who Love to Cook and Eat”.