kellementology

life according to me

Category: Learning

  • School Underway and All Systems Go…so far.

    With the first week of school under our belt, life should settle into a comfortable, but relentless pace.  Sounds dramatic, even if it isn’t wholly accurate.  Suffice it to say it should be relentless for the RTR and I, who are most comfortable in our house potato state.

    We prefer to characterize ourselves as easily entertained.  Simply entertained?  Okay, how about low maintenance in the entertainment department.

    The junior year in high school blew in for my youngest this past week, and with it the expectations of a cool 150 pages of U.S. History and exam each week, and a studio art class that will, by the end of the year, allow him to produce a portfolio that is quite the humdinger.  There’s a project due every Friday and with the supplies and studio fee, the MoH’s plastic is about $375 heavier.  Unbelievable.

    The decision to take Statistics instead of Calculus seems to be working — sure there’s homework every night, too, but it’s the “easy” class and he gets that done first.  Physics fits in here somewhere, but I haven’t figured that out yet.  The English teacher seems to be nowhere in sight.  AGAIN.  I know that this recurring theme is some perverse punishment meant solely for me — dedicated English teacher and passionate writing teacher that I once was.

    The English teacher is the only one of his teachers that didn’t send home a syllabus.  I’ve never figured out how that’s even ethical…  Okay, so, here’s my kid for a year.  Teach him, but I don’t need to know anything about any of your plans because I’m just supposed to trust that you’re a professional, because you know, all teachers are professionals and have the exact same practices, right?  And that when my kid begins to show signs of faltering, and he will, trust me, that we will have absolutely nothing to go on to pitch in and support him like we know you expect us to, or we’ll be forever known as slacker parents, which wouldn’t be true, but you’d think it anyways.

    You can tell I’m pretty much over school right?

    Between my own education, my career, my boys education…I dunno.  I think I gave at the office.  But I think I’m going to enjoy my job as Chief Buttress in the History and Art departments this year.

    Ah, yep.

  • You, too can enjoy life past 30

    Today is my birthday.  And as much as I can say that many women my age choose not to admit their age, I’m proud of mine.

    I’m 52 years old.  Not 52 years young, or 52 years better.  It doesn’t need to be made into something other than what it is.

    Fifty-two.

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    The year I was born, The Platters recorded “The Great Pretender,” Elvis made it to U.S. hit charts for the first time, and Doris Day’s serenade of “Que Sera, Sera” let all who listened know that the future was not for us to decide.

    I beg to differ.

    Carousel was playing in theaters, and The Edge of Night could be seen on television.  Jackson Pollock died in a car crash, Eisenhower was re-elected President, and IBM invented the “Hard Disk Drive.”

    Not that long ago, but at the same time, several lifetimes ago.

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    I have fond memories of growing up in the latter years of that decade and the earliest of the next, but would love to forget many of the years following, until high school was nearly half over.  Yes, there were good things about those years, but I’d never live them again if given the opportunity.

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    Um, no thanks.

    I’ve learned quite a bit in all this time, so indulge me, and I’ll give you the short version:

      1. Be an optimist.  It’s more efficient.  But Murphy does exist, so if you acknowledge that and prepare yourself, things actually work out.
      2. Really bad things can happen to you and you will get over them, but may always struggle to find even a thread of patience with those who insist upon wallowing in self pity.  Try anyway.
      3. You can find beauty in just about anything with little or no effort.  People who can’t see it aren’t looking close enough.

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      1. Be generous with yourself.  It makes no sense to wait around for someone else to do it.
      2. Absolutely nothing horrible happens when you leave dishes in the sink at night, or your bed unmade in the morning.
      3. Acknowledge and work on your own shortcomings and you’ll be so busy you won’t have time to criticize others for theirs.
      4. It is more than possible to enjoy your own kids as teenagers.  I’ve done it three times, and wouldn’t trade those years for toddlerhood if you paid me.
      5. Life is too short to eat packaged food made with highly processed ingredients.  Learn how to cook with fresh ingredients.  Yes, you have time.  You’re welcome.

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    1. The concept of Family is not something to be taken lightly.  A bottle of wine can help.
    2. Quiet times during the day are the best, even if they’re only five minutes long and in a dark closet.
    3. It isn’t possible to watch Pride and Prejudice too many times no matter how much my son rolls his eyes.
    4. It’s important to pay attention to what’s going on in the world.  It doesn’t always make sense, but ignoring it makes even less sense.
    5. Good friends are priceless.
    6. Deep and lasting love is about Learning, Appreciation, and Compromise.  Being silly frequently doesn’t hurt, either. 
    7. It is more than possible to appreciate the way your body looks, even though it’s rounder and more soft than it used to be, and lined and marked where it used to be smooth.  Well, mine is.

    So, Happy 52nd Birthday to me!  Since most of the Bloggosphere seems to be made up of twenty and thirty somethings with very young children and who often write about aging, I hope this helps you know that life is good after 39 — in fact, better.  It’s all about attitude.

    And and occasional masque using French clay and lots of moisturizer.

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  • You, Too, Can Organize and Decorate with Teens

    Guitar The Resident Teen Rocker turned 16 while we were in Italy last month. Other than giving him a card that had our family’s required elements of butts, farting, or both, and singing Happy Birthday as horribly as we pridefully aim to, he didn’t have a candle to blow out. Now that I think of it, that’s kind of rude, but I’ll make it up before school begins.

    Speaking of school and rudeness, the enormous registration packet came in the mail yesterday, and since he’s the one who retrieves the mail from our box each day, the look on his face told all. You’d have thought he had a bite of a bad frozen burrito. I mentioned that I wasn’t looking forward to him going back to school, either, and pondered the possibilities of running away from home with him to avoid the inevitable. Instead, I told him to get his calendar marked up so he could enjoy what was left of his summer, and start hitting the sack sometime before dawn, or at least make a half-assed attempt.  I still can’t figure out how in hell I raised a kid who dislikes school as intensely as he does.  Not that there isn’t much to dislike, mind you.

    Every other summer of his life, the RTR has had an agenda. It hasn’t kept him hopping as much as the MoH would have liked, but that’s because it was organized primarily to keep him occupied while we were at work.  A variety of YMCA Camps, San Diego Zoo Camp, Balboa Park, ID Tech Camp at UCSD, Camp Gramma, you name it, he’s been there.

    But not last year. Summer school was supposed to happen but mysteriously never did, so I gave the RTR some projects I thought he might enjoy, and learn from. I know. Deadly. Ironically, he was assigned a project in his art class last semester that required a bit of research and wonder of all wonders!  He remembered the summer work he’d done and was able to make use of it for his presentation. Amazingly resourceful when he wants to be. Teen Project Mess

    Like this past weekend. We finally made it to Ikea to purchase the finishing touches for his bedroom. Not too long ago, we painted his room with colors he chose, the MoH changed all the dull switch plates, and  I put up some new shades. (Of course, the shade pulls are already hanging in shreds leaving one shade unworkable, but it was swell while it lasted.)

    After cruising through the showroom maze at Ikea, the RTR chose a double bed, a larger work table, and a chair that looks way too comfortable for the homework that he will definitely have with the schedule he chose (Statistics, Physics, AP American History, AP Studio Art, American Lit, and Woodshop. Yes, that’s right. Woodshop.) He is soooooooo having homework. I’m wincing just thinking about it.

    So yes, after the three of us removed the boxes we’d wedged into my mother’s borrowed Escape, we schlepped them into the livingroom to sit. I told the RT it was his job and that if he needed help, he knew where his dad was. I, on the other hand, went to the grocery store.

    Old mattress Bear in mind that for the RT to approach any aspect of this gargantuan task, he had to clean his room. Pigs would fly first. But he’s very creative and found a way to move things around so he could work. You know, have a bit of elbow room and squeeze space allowance for toilet use?

    More Teen Project Mess

    When I returned from the store, he’d made quite a bit of progress and was just beginning to take the big red bunk bed he’s had since his fifth birthday apart. I could get all misty-eyed right now, but won’t.

    I heard him call from upstairs, “Mom. There’s a funny looking flat screw thing that has a hole in it with edges…”

    Now, I knew this would get his attention, and called up to him about whether he knew where the allen wrenches were tucked in his dad’s trusty tool box. No he couldn’t find them, and yes, I walked up the stairs to show him where they were. I also stayed long enough to gently ask him whether starting with a screw at the bottom of the bed was a good idea, and whether there might be some unexpected happenings as a result of that decision.

    “Oh. Heh,” he smiled and chose a top corner screw instead.

    The only time he asked for help was when he noticed a screw was stripped. A whack of the hammer from the MoH fixed it, and that cute bed that has so many memories attached to it is now in parts leaning against a wall in the garage waiting for a “Free to the first Caller” Craigslist ad.

    Monday morning, the RT and I moved his tiny desk down the stairs — or tried. It fell apart from the stress on an edge while we were resting, and unfortunately, my ankles we on the receiving end of the boards that fell. Hurt doesn’t quite cover it, but we did get the desk to a resting spot.
    Owwwwwwwwwwww.

    He put his new desk together, and the chair.

    I figure if he wants me to put up the very cool tiny work light with the jointed neck, and the shelves for his army of thousands, he’s going to have to clean up the mess.

    But I’ve been reorganizing the cupboards in the kitchen, so between the two of us, it’s anyone’s guess whether we’ll ever see the floor or counters in our house again.

    Bets?
    New Work Table

  • Finding a place to begin

    Finding a place to begin

    Nike was smart when they launched their campaign admonishing those of us who sit far too long on our ever-expanding rear ends to “Just do It.”  But when you’re someone who is more inclined to first think, then talk about what you are thinking about — like writing — then think about writing before you actually write anything,  clearly those words have no effect.  None.

    I haven’t “Done It” yet.  In other words, I’m still getting warmed up to the idea of possibly thinking about wanting to write something.  Not just anything, but the piece I am supposed to write.

    The problem is twofold.  On second thought, it’s got quite a few more folds than two. Tenfold might be more accurate.  I have no excuse for this.  It’s pathetic.

    And so when I find myself in this particular situation, I review what I know.  I mull over every detail and experience much like one might sort through an old recipe box, thinking about what is on each card instead of pulling one out, and actually cooking and serving it for dinner.

    I could go back through the books I’ve used in the past whose authors have helped me sort out my thoughts.  People like Zinsser and Lamott, or Goldberg or E.B. White, because they force me to think about what I’m not doing. But I’d have to have something, anything, to work with before I’m compelled to pick up one of those books again.  Otherwise, it’s no different than reading travelogues and never traveling, or buying yet another cookbook when never intending to cook.

    Somehow in my wandering today, I came across Vonnegut and his take on style.  I’d not seen it before, and I read it through several times acknowledging his advice, but thinking more about his writing.  I read parts of it aloud, as I often do when something is written just right, needing to hear the cadence of words as each works with another.  Then I considered the advice.

    One thing was missing.

    Find a place to begin.  And therein lies the rub.

    Since it’s not a dark and stormy night, I’m taking myself out into the sun that has finally decided to grace us with its presence to sit and read something well-written, take a few notes, and find a place to begin while I’m distracted by green bugs in the vicinity.

  • You’re so over the Italy stuff, right?

    Trenitalia Alta Velocita

    The train ride to Florence was easy.  There were no delays, the air conditioning was refreshing, and it actually seemed as if we were really skimming along at 300 km/hr, leaving cars on the autostrade in the dust, which is saying quite a bit.  We were able to look out the windows the entire time, unlike our first trip, when a man sitting across from the boys yanked the shade down without the slightest acknowledgment that three others were sitting at the same table. Okay.

    Small towns appeared along the way, their terra cotta roofs clustered on hill tops in the distance.  Fields of sunflowers stretched away from us one after the other, but their heads pointed down and away, revealing only a yellow fringe in the midday sun.  I wondered if I’d have the chance to drive through that countryside some day to explore those towns.

    From the moment we arrived at Stazione Santa Maria Novella, it was different.  The area inside the walls of Florence is traffic controlled, allowing only those with a special permit the opportunity to enter.  Yes, there was traffic, but far less.  And absolutely, we had to be wary crossing streets, but not as if we were taking our lives in our hands each time we did.  The streets seemed more organized, neater.  Less frenetic.  And… not quite as intriguing as Rome, nor as quaint as Sorrento.

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  • Naples & “Rude Ebullience”

    On Sunday, the fifth day of our vacation to Italy, we were ready to leave Rome.  Not so much because we were tired of being there; we’d only put a small dent in what there is to see and do.  It was more because knowing the reservations at two more places had been made, and it was inevitable that we go.  Besides, after reading so much about Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast, I know I was looking forward to being near the ocean.  I’m glad I had the short time to do a post while we were there because as much as I can say I’m able to hang on to memories, being able to savor the better moments after it’s all over can get lost in the shuffle.

    When we travel, my volatile personality battles with itself.  I’m an odd combination of someone who loves beautiful hotels with soft towels and scented soap, and one who also enjoys being very casual, and comfortable.  Going unnoticed.  Because I’d approached my planning for our trip from the latter perspective, I quickly decided that we’d not be staying in Positano, a picturebook perfect place that I would have loved to stay — but not with two of my sons in tow.  So Sorrento seemed to be a better choice.  If we decided to take a bus to Positano, or a boat to Capri, then I’d be satisfied with that, hoping to return someday just with the MoH.

    Some would call me a dreamer, or not very practical.  I’d prefer to say that I look for the silver lining of most aspects of life.  I’m a highly observant person with a near lethal critical eye, so I enjoy looking for the softer more beautiful characteristics in as much as I can find.  It works, because although I am incapable of not noticing the underbelly of just about everything, I prefer to wallow in everything else.  Yes, this is about Italy…

    Because we spent so much time on line before we left trying to book train fare and failing (that’s a whole post in itself…) we took time to go to Stazione Termini the day before leaving Rome to use the self-serve ticket machines.  All went perfectly, so on Sunday, after allowing one of the swarms of men who offer to “help” put luggage on the train and then actually haggle with you about what the service they forced on you is worth, we were off to Naples.  I knew there would be a bit of confusion once we arrived there, because never having been there, we couldn’t quite figure out how we’d get from the train station to the docks to catch a boat to Sorrento.

    Bear in mind that I’m a planner by profession, so if I say something is not quite clear after I’ve spent time thinking about it and searching for options, then that means I’ve decided that we’ll just figure it out.  Besides, the MoH kept telling me we would be on a bit of an adventure, so I allowed myself some moments of letting go of my worries.

    And then we arrived in Naples.  Yes, I’d read about Naples, which was why I never considered staying there for even a second.  To be fair, we’d just stayed in a huge city, so even if I’d planned for us to venture into Naples to see the spectacular Museo Archilogico Nazionale, we’d do so from a smaller town.  Any possibility of doing that evaporated when we stepped off the train.  The “loves the finer things in life” side of me kicked in when the four of us had to traipse across the station four or five times just looking for information about where to catch the “tram” I’d read about.  Yes, I understand that Italy works differently than other places, and that it’s best to relax and “go with the flow.”  I.  Get.  It.  Okay?  But then we decided to venture outside the station to figure it out ourselves.  Surely there would be obvious signs to follow.  When one can read Spanish, Italian isn’t that different, thankfully.

    But there were no signs, and the station was in some kind of transition with construction going on that looked as if it was stalled and hadn’t been touched in quite some time.  Walkways were blocked, and as we ventured out toward the large square in front of the station where buses were lined up, we were more than cautious about traffic.  For as much as vehicles didn’t honk their horns in Rome, it seemed every one of them used their horns to warn anyone in their path — red light, stop sign or not.  Trash was everywhere, accumulated against buildings, wafting across streets as traffic passed, and worse, wedging in the wheels of our luggage as we searched for the yet unseen “tram” mentioned in one of our travel books.  (Erm, thanks, Rick Steves.  You might want to edit that book.  And don’t forget to change the phone number for museum reservations in Florence while you’re at it.)

    We walked back and forth.  We asked people for direction, and then finally we found the city buses and began to look at their numbers hoping to see the “1” we needed.  A tram looks different than a bus, doesn’t it?  Or so we thought.  Right as we’d decided to go for it and walk the distance to the port, we located a bus — full sized — with a “1” emblazoned across its front.  Perhaps that was our tram.  But by the time we’d figured it out, it left and we stood on the curb waiting, trying to decide if we should wait for the next, walk, or catch a cab.  After eyeballing the cabs streaming by in the frantic traffic, we knew there was no possibility of the four of us and luggage fitting into one tiny vehicle.  One cab driver actually stopped in the middle of a huge intersection, motioning at us out his window, wondering if we needed his cab, and we had to wave him on.

    So we set off in the general direction of the port.  It was beyond hot, and the area we walked through looked as if it might be a business district.  All was closed since it was Sunday and the traffic immediately became sporadic.  Light posts were missing from their bases, wires exposed in a tangled mess.  Phones had been vandlized, receivers hanging from their sturdy cords, missing covers for the ear and mouth device.  At one point, a young man with a beautiful girl on the back of his motorcycle drove up onto the sidewalk in front of us pulling his bike alongside the store windows and cruised in the opposite direction, slowly, as if allowing the girl to window shop.

    We began to look into the shadowed alleys to find one that looked safe.  Yes, I was not feeling very safe, and that’s a rare thing.  But we found one and just being able to walk in the shade calmed my nerves long enough to notice the high rise buildings from which laundry slowly flapped in a breeze we couldn’t feel.  I could begin to smell the salt from the bay, so knew we couldn’t be that far away.

    I was wrong.  The port is huge, and we came out, luggage in tow, near where the large cruise ships dock.  More of the seemingly always present orange plastic construction fencing lined the busy street, so we had to pick our way through it all, then wander along the docks until we finally found where the ferries dropped off and picked up people headed across the Bay of Naples. 

    The MoH’s suitcase experienced a flat as a result of this particular leg of our adventure, so he had to carry it for the remainder of our vacation.  He thought it had just become heavy since he was just as tired as the rest of us from our ordeal, and he just pulled it harder.  The poor wheel had all its rubber worn completely flat on one side.

    If I told you I was traumatized over this experience (um…not the flat on the suitcase wheel — Naples), I’d expect you to know it was an exaggeration.  But I can say that I was offended.  Seriously.  And then I was embarrassed by my reaction, so that pissed me off.  Picture an ugly black cloud with lightning bolts flashing out of it hovering over my hatless head, and you’d have the right picture.

    So much for relaxing.  For adopting a “whatever” mentality.  For embracing the casual “no worries” attitude that the MoH abhors when he hears someone mutter that particular phrase.  I was only an ugly American who would wallow in self pity, unbeknownst to anyone but her family.  MoH being the mostly calm person he is, ventured off to find a cool Coke to share once we’d found a bench to sit and wait.

    When the ferry to Sorrento arrived and we were settled on board, my mood had passed, the deep blue water we skimmed over helping to soothe my ugliness.  It was only then that the MoH realized that the Cirumvesuviana we’d opted not to take to Sorrento had a stop we could have taken to the bay to catch the ferry.  The travel book had evidently neglected to mention that particular piece of information.  Of course, there was more than enough mention made of the rampant crime and pickpocketing that goes on, so clearly, that factored into our decision to forego use of the Circumvesuviana at that point in our little adventure. 

    Underbelly indeed.

    Maybe if I was 25, I’d have a different outlook than I now do.  But when I was 25, I had two babies and wouldn’t have been able to even afford thinking about Italy, so who knows.  I do know that as much as Naples might be described by some as having “an attractive, rude ebullience,” I will say that the only thing I found attractive about it was being able to board the ferry to Sorrento — regardless of what Rick Steves thinks.

    The silver lining?  The MoH. He doesn’t always understand my strangeness, but is always willing to lighten things up when the time is right.  It’s nice.

  • Vacation to Italy: Four days in Rome

    I’ve been sitting here most of the day, clicking through the 750 photos I took while in Italy, and it’s been a pleasant way to replay our time there which now, seems a million miles away. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

    I took an old-fashioned journal with me, thinking I’d write since I wouldn’t have access to a computer for any real time. And although I did write, I’m so out of practice doing so with a pen and paper, that my thoughts left me before I could finish sentences. We were so busy, packing much into each day, it was challenging to find time to sit and write anything, and when I did, I wanted to close my eyes for just a bit to catch my breath.  Stare at the ceiling in our room and wonder who had lived there (and it’s a very old ceiling…)

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    When I travel, I long to know what it’s like to live where I’m staying. It matters.  I enjoy walking through streets that are off the regular path, and shops that aren’t on anyone’s recommended list. In fact, I enjoy this sort of time spent in a place more than seeing attractions most of the time. It gives me a better sense of who the people are, and what it might be like to be one of them even though I know that it will never be quite right. To some extent, this was possible for us in Rome, Sorrento, and Galluzzo, the small town we stayed in outside Florence.  And it must have worked, because I now know that people from each of these areas are distinctly different, and fiercely proud of it.

    Via dei Cappellari apartment In Rome, we stayed in a very small apartment a short walk from the Campo di Fiori on Via dei Cappellari. The streets everywhere are paved with small square, black cobblestones planted in an arching pattern.  Buildings plastered in muted, warm colors rise three or four stories across passageways sometimes only wide enough for a tiny car to pass by.  Windows are shuttered against the heat, which at times, is oppressive, and others, interrupted by breeze from a cross street. Via dei Cappellari is such a street.

    A variety of tiny shops that don’t quite make sense together line the way past our apartment: furniture makers sand and varnish chairs and tables, a spotless motorbike repair shop takes in customers, a dress boutique waits for shoppers, and an antiques dealer fans himself in the dim lighting of his shop. We wondered each day how any of them could keep afloat tucked away as they were, with so many others hid in their own tiny areas of such a huge city.

    Rome apartment stairs Our apartment was three flights of stairs up through a tiny door that was nearly impossible to open with the skeleton key we were given.  Thankfully, we never did see the person whose apartment we tried to get in at first, thinking it was ours. And it wasn’t so bad after we did get into our apartment to find that an air conditioner was available as long as we were willing to pay 5 Euros a day. But there were no clean sheets or towels, and when the MoH tried to use the telephone to call the rental company, it didn’t work. No surprise since it looked like a relic from the ’50’s. At least there was a large plasma screen — until I blew a circuit breaker with my flat iron the next morning. So much for our converter, hmmm?

    So much for anything remotely close to what I’d consider a “good” hair day for the next couple of weeks. Note to self: Tell Dan the Man haircut dood that I will not be having a cut this short again no matter how thrilled he is with the way it looks. The hat came in VERY handy.

    IMG_1560.JPG The MoH and I left the RTR & his big brother in the apartment under the AC — literally — while we ventured out to find a phone and food. We found the phone, but figuring out how to use it was another story all together. Yes, it’s explained in tourist books. Embarrassing, but true. So the rental company was contacted about the linens and they were promptly delivered. Woo-Hoo!

    Rome is a gritty place. There are scooters everywhere, and the traffic even in tiny streets, is something you have to keep an eye on. Once you realize that the key is to step into the street, make and keep eye contact with the driver, and move quickly across the street, you’re fine. Unfortunately, that only seems to work for the cars. The scooters are not as trustworthy.

    There are cafes everywhere. Cafes and bars and gelato shops line nearly every street, and deciding which one to go into doesn’t have to be a science. We never did figure out exactly what “tourist food” was because every meal we had in Rome was exceptional whether it was pizza near the Pantheon, or clams and mussels in wine and garlic in Trastavere across the Tiber. And the pasta? Mmmm…who knew that Carbonara could be made so many different ways. Campo di Fiori

    We walked everywhere in Rome. We walked until our feet ached and our knees weren’t sure how to act when we finally were able to sit. We walked and sweat more than I thought it possible to sweat. No wonder the Romans wore togas. Or was that the Greeks? A nice breeze ruffling a skirt would have been quite nice as long as a puff of Gold’s powder was available. More than once I noticed Italian men and women on their way to work; the men in beautifully cut suits of rich fabric and the women in smart linen trousers and stylish tops. Not a drop of sweat on any of them. How do they do it? That could never be me, wrinkled damp human that I am. Thank goodness for the cool quiet, shaded streets we often found on our way to one place or another.

    Often when we travel, we’ll mark a map just to see how much ground we’ve covered. It would have been too challenging in Rome because we often wandered. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes because we were lost. The MoH and I rarely agreed that we were where we thought we were or supposed to be, so bitching and moaning ensued. Not him. Me. But that’s what happens when you put two strong-willed people together in a strange place with two large young men in tow.  I know I tested his patience this vacation more than I usually do, but there wasn’t a cork large enough in Rome for my mouth or my opinions.  I’ve never been very good at following.

    So what did I truly enjoy?

    • Walking around the corner of a tiny street shrouded in the shade that early evening imposes on the city and seeing the Pantheon amongst the buildings that have grown around it over the past 2,000 years. It was beautiful, and early in the week, not as crowded as it would become by the weekend. I had my first taste of Italian gelato sitting on the wall next to the Pantheon, trying desperately to keep the deep, dark chocolate from dripping down my arm and onto my white bermudas. My camera wasn’t so lucky.
    • Pantheon

    • Seeing the cat hospice at the Largo Argentina Ruins.  It was twilight, which in Rome is about 9PM, and since the city has physically risen over the past few thousand years, the ancient area is at least a couple of stories lower than street level.  We never quite figured it out, but someone was setting up a show of sorts, displaying edgy contemporary art with music and a light show.  But as we looked more closely, we noticed cats.  Scores of cats in the shadows.  All colors and sizes.  On one corner of the square, you can venture down a flight of stairs to talk to them, give them a few pets, and marvel that in a city the size of Rome, someone would provide such a place for them.  Amazing.
    • Sitting in the Campo di Fiori with the MoH the first night in Rome.  We watched a talented street entertainer mimmicking passers by, the armed Carbonieri, and the young people they were keeping an eye on.  A guitarist’s quiet music was a perfect accompaniment to the show seen satisfyingly from our tiny cafe table.  The evening was warm, and a breeze across the square made everything just right.
    • The walk through the Borghese Gardens after we saw the gallery.  Sure we were hot, thirsty, and hungry.  Okay, so starving.  And sure, we had a detour caused by some construction going on.  But it was beautiful, and I thought that it would have been a perfect place to sit and nap or picnic, if figuring out how to get the whole picnic thing right could have been a possibility. But no one complained. The grounds are completely shaded and there’s a large wading pool of sorts.  People wearing bathing suits were sunning on towels.  It was quiet.  Fountains appeared here and there, and it was all I could do NOT to sit on the edge of one and dip my feet in since diving was not an option.  As we finished our trek through the grounds, my favorite view of Rome was there, right above the Piazza del Popolo all spread out in front of us.
    • Rome Skyline from Borghese Gardens

    • The wine and the espresso.  Neither was as expensive as the Coke the boys drank or the birra the MoH ordered. Of course, the ground espresso I purchased to make in the apartment each morning ended up opening in my suitcase during our travels, and for the remainder of our vacation, I sported dark smudges on my undies and smelled like coffee, but who’s complaining?
    • The spigots that can be found throughout Rome.  All you need is a bottle.  The water is ice cold and free.  I don’t know where we would have been without it because it wasn’t as plentiful in Sorrento or Florence and we missed it.
    • The ORANGE purse and wallet I purchased.  I guess I like orange after all.

    The low points?

    • Begrudgingly, the throngs of people at Trevi fountain.  I suppose in thinking about it now that we could have stayed up later and then ventured to see it, but everyone is up until the wee hours of the night anyway, and transitioning to Rome time, we were lagging.  On second thought, getting up very early would work best.  Everyone is asleep after a night full of revelry, right?  It could be magical.
    • Trevi Fountain

    • My older son admitting that he was not impressed by the Colosseum.  He told us he was really looking forward to seeing it, too.  I’m sad for him because a life spent building up expectations and nothing being able to meet them is a tough life indeed.  He does tend to have a half empty cup about life at times.  It breaks my heart.
    • Tour groups.  They were like a virus.  They took up vast quantities of space everywhere forcing everyone off the sidewalks and up against the walls of any space they oozed in to.  They arrived, they armed their point-n-shoots, they shot, they left.  One after the other.  Hoards.  It was beyond annoying.
    • The Sistine Chapel.  Michelangelo’s  jaw droppingly beautiful ceiling was actually reduced to a room full of people standing shoulder to shoulder with a grouchy guard incessantly hissing, “Silence!” to the noisy masses who seemed to be there only to try and sneak a photo of something they wanted to be able to say they saw, instead of think about how it was painted and by whom, or why.  Very sad.

    And something unexpectedly lovely to end on a positive note…

    • St. Paul’s Basilica in the very late afternoon.  No lines, unearthly light streaming through the windows, voices from the mass taking place echoing through the building…Breath-takingly beautiful.  And Michelangelo’s Pieta?  Oh.  My.  It brought tears.  Maybe I was just tired, but still.
    • Mass at St. Peter's

    Cost so far minus airfare?

    Private Shuttle to Apartment:  $120 (Okay, so this was convenience just because we had to stop by the rental office, then get to the apartment.  The airport is not close to the city and the office not close to the apartment.  I was at the “whatever” stage of booking.)

    Accommodations:  $650  (Not bad for 4 people for 4 days…)

    Food:  $475  (No junk food.  Yes, they have Mickey D’s.  Some cooking in the apartment, fruit, wine, gelato, salami & cheese, and some very nice dinners.  Did I say wine?)

    Attractions: $300  (The Colosseum, The Forum, Palatine HillThe Borghese, The Vatican…I forget what else…)

    Train to Sorrento:    $120 (Inter-City train)

    Orange Purse & Wallet:  Priceless  (Okay, so it wasn’t, but it was in my suitcase when we left, so I didn’t get to collect on the tax that I was charged.  What.  Ever.)

  • Last minute details and queasiness…

    I thought I was done.  Well, as done as someone like me can be when planning; I’m compulsive when it comes to organizing events.  And to make matters worse, the planning is done to make it appear as if no planning went into the event.

    This is Martha’s fault.

    Okay, so I guess it’s my fault, too.  It’s the result of my being able to see how things should be, and years and years of long and short range planning for a living.

    Planning.  Lots of it.

    It’s why I’m so horrible at it when it comes to day to day things.  You know, like cleaning, running errands, paying bills.  I avoid those details like the plague.  I procrastinate.  I rebel.  I rage.  Then I do it.  On.  Time.

    The histrionics are just for effect.

    So doesn’t it seem a bit odd that for a few days now, I’ve had a sort of uncomfortable feeling in my abdomen.  It’s somewhat like the feeling I get when I’m in line to ride a roller coaster.  I know what those plunges, dips, and twists are like.

    Scary.

    I couldn’t figure it out.  I even had a bit of reminescence about the MoH and I and how I felt when I met him — all sappy and gooey and madly in love.  You know — sick to my stomach.  Sounds romantic, doesn’t it?  I was writing about the first time we’d had gelato on our honeymoon and how I can’t wait to taste the gelato in Italy.  Although I’m a sucker for the MoH and can say I’m pretty sappy over us, I thankfully don’t have to endure that feeling in my stomach.  Well, I didn’t think I did.

    It wouldn’t go away.

    And then it hit me.  I hadn’t booked a room for our last night in Italy.  The don’t worry about it, just get a room somewhere near the airport so you can wax over the vacation you’ve just enjoyed before you get on the 99 hour flight back to reality in Paradise.  That room.

    Oops.

    You’d think this was no big deal.  But no.  I have to think about how to squeeze a few more unexpectedly wonderful moments into our vacation.  I wallow in all things Google Maps, clicking on every single picture that has been posted by others just to get a sense of the place.  I scan the reviews of each hotel, looking not for the 237 favorable comments, but the five that say things like:

    The hotel is being very slowly renovated, probably on an inadequate budget, so, for instance, the hallway leading to our room had no ceiling and was a tangle of exposed electrical wires and pipes.

    Okay, so this would be the reason I immediately looked at another hotel.  The MoH said we’d be on an adventure, but this is more like a safari to me.  Thanks for the review!

    Or:

    If this hotel is 10 minutes from the Airport (as advertised), I will eat my shoe.  Seriously.

    Dude.  Have you ever heard of Google maps?  And I’d recommend eating your hat.  It would taste much better than your stinky shoe.  Seriously.

    And then:

    We arrived at the Rome airport on a Sunday afternoon.  We booked the hotel because they advertised a shuttle to and from the airport.  When we called them, they informed us that their driver does not work on Sunday afternoons and it was up to us to find a way to get to the hotel…

    Okay, so this would piss me off, too.  Especially when you’ve just arrived, are bright-eyed and and have TOURIST plastered across your foreheads for all the world to see.  But I have read extensively that on Sunday, this is more the norm than the rare occasion, so you’re supposed to expect it and go with the flow.  Now, this is something I’m not always very good at, so I’ve been practicing.  A lot.  Quello e giusto.  Sara fine.  Tutto si distende. Respiri profondamente. Ahhhh….

    And crabs like this:

    Accommodations for heavy sleepers.  The hotel is close to the airport, which is good AND bad.  Good for the convenient location near the airport, bad because it is in the flight path of many planes.  Thin walls inside the hotel don’t help.  A free shuttle bus runs to/from the airport and hotel.  Missed the shuttle to the hotel and had to take a 20 euro taxi ride…

    Erm.  The last time I checked, airports do have planes that take off and land.  It works nicely.  And if you’re not a punctual person, you deserve to pay for a taxi ride.  Dude.  You chose the hotel.  Remember?

    But sometimes, you have to read these less than stellar reviews carefully:

    Swallowed hard as we pulled in to this property; never could figure out the neighborhood.  Nevertheless, room was nice, quiet. (Overall, price pretty steep for location & quality…) Walking distance to marina or riverside dining choices, most of which offered local fish — a welcome change form the three weeks of Tuscan delights…

    Yah, this is the part that I’m having to suck up, too.  That it doesn’t always get to look like Gina Lolabrigida or Marcello Mastroianni are just around the corner near the Italian cypresses, lounging on the terazzo with a limoncello.  Life sucks like that sometimes. But thanks, dude, for the positive spin on the local fish.  I’ll look for that.

    It pays to be a compulsively dreaming, obsessively constructive pessimistic planner like me.  If anything can go wrong, it will, so I plan for how to avoid it.  Or in this case, practice how to grin and bear it.

    I found the hotel and we’re booked.  Now, how to get there from the train.

    Between the Trenitalia schedules and Google maps, I’ll figure it out.

    At least my stomach doesn’t hurt any more.

  • That Summer Feeling

    Pelicans

    It’s the last day of school and because 99.9% of us have spent time in a seat in a classroom counting the days and minutes and seconds until we could say, “It’s the last day of school!” we know it’s a special day.

    And then there’s another portion of us who stood in that classroom in front of those kids, and later, in front of those teachers, and thought the very same thing. This particular experience gave new meaning to the phrase, barely contain my glee…

    Okay, so for some — those of us who still have children at home — this day conjures conflicting emotions:

    A. You’re ecstatic that you no longer have to get up at 6:30 (or even 6:57) for your 7am car pool responsibilities.

    B. You’re in a quandry because your almost 16-year-old son will be home every single day for 10 weeks (too old for camp, not able to attend summer school to make up crappy grades in Spanish and Algebra II because his perfectly delightful and generous but most likely too indulgent parents are taking him to Italy) attempting to put a pet rock to shame with inactivity and behaving quite charmingly the entire time. Lifeguard Tower

    A. You’re seriously glad that you no longer have even more children — little ones — at home who now need you to be the summer tour director, organize appropriate television viewing time, snack time, nap time, play group time, reading time, craft time, and errand-running-time with said children in tow which was always so much fun.

    B. There’s no B on this one. Trust me. Ice Cream Stand

    A. You no longer have to ask (prod, cajole, encourage, motivate, hold a mirror under his nose to see if he’s breathing…) aforementioned teenager if he has homework to do, classwork to finish, quizzes or tests to study for, papers to sign, grades to keep an eye on, or projects to complete, and compose yourself long enough to stimulate chronic eye twitching.

    B. You no longer have time to do all of the above because it’s the last day of school and all of the above didn’t exactly work, so you’ve resorted to Plan Z in preparation for the next school year. Already.

    A. Even though you’re a million years older than you once were when you couldn’t wait for the Last Day of School, you still remember that the Day After the Last Day of School was a very special day that meant you’d lay in bed as long as you possibly could waiting to feel that feeling you’d waited for all year. You know. The, “IT’S SUMMER AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!” feeling. The one where your days stretch in front of you, yawning with possibility. Evening Boardwalk

    B. Since The Day After the Last Day of School is Tuesday this year, and that’s normally a car pool morning for me, see the first “A” above.

    A. You’ll finally, finally get to see your wannabe artist son’s art portfolio knowing it will make you smile, appreciating his ability even though the world wants to browbeat artists, guilting them into thinking that begging on a street corner spouting formulas and quadratic equations in Spanish will gain them more handouts than painting or playing a violin. Okay, so an electric guitar maybe?

    B. I’ll finally get to maybe think about possibly considering looking in his backpack, hoping against hope that there are no apples in the bottom, left to ferment for weeks. But if there are apples, I’ll be reminded that sometimes apples do fall far from the tree, and that is fortunate.

    Happy Last Day of School!

  • Through my new lens…

    Garden Mirror

    It’s interesting, this new writing venue of mine, no longer in our office since my mother’s taken up residence there. My used to be vanity is now my desk, positioned in front of one of my bedroom windows, allowing me a gauzy view of the palms outside, and my neighbors, an unearthly glow sometimes after twilight.

    Today, the palm fronds are damp and tossing about in the stiff breeze that Mother Nature has put upon us, taking the June Gloom we’re accustomed to in Paradise to a new level. It’s cold and grey, the street is actually wet, and I’ve had to shut all my windows or freeze my ass off while sitting here, pretending to be pithy.

    (more…)