kellementology

life according to me

Category: Politics

  • Right on Day One.

    The day has finally arrived. It feels as if I’ve waited forever and think of all that has gone on in this country and the world in the past eight years. Almost a decade with someone in the White House that I believe never should have been there. Ever.

    That’s quite a bit of water under the bridge, wouldn’t you say?

    I’ve had much on my mind as I’ve watched the candidates line up over the last year and begin their campaigns. It’s been an incredibly long year. Too long. And when I realize that as much as I’ve waited for today to arrive, we still have nearly nine months left to see how big an ass Rush Limbaugh can make of himself over the outcome of the presidential election. Did you hear what he said about John McCain yesterday? O.M.G.

    Unbelievable.

    He’ll flap all the way to the bank. I’m sure.

    In the meantime, I’ve placed my vote in the same garage I’ve been placing it for the past five years since moving to this area of Paradise. The same pleasant people greet me and chat each time.

    “How’s business been today?” I asked one of the women. “Busy?”

    “No,” she responded, surprising me.

    “What’s wrong with this neighborhood?” I teased, knowing what her comeback would be.

    “We’ve got over 65% who vote on absentee ballots here!” she smiled. The young man assisting asked me how I’d be voting today because I’m registered as non partisan.

    Um. I sort of forgot that I get a bit feisty about this whole choosing sides from time to time and hadn’t remembered changing or when I’d changed. He patiently explained that I could vote Democratic, or N/P, or…

    I confessed that I would be voting as a Democrat, just to cut to the chase, grinning as the woman handed me a ballot. I made sure I knew what I was doing because we’ve had umpteen gazillion changes over the past few years about HOW we cast our ballots. Having gone seriously high tech now, we are using a black ink pen and a ballot printed on card stock. No poking, no punching, no scanning, or beeping or page flipping. All I had to do was fill in the bubble.

    They continued casual conversation over my shoulder as I scanned my ballot, laughing because more than one of the volunteers had submitted an absentee ballot, and now, as we all know, many names originally on that ballot are no longer present for the primary today.

    Interesting…

    And more than 65% in our area alone vote absentee ballot? That could prove to be interesting with respect to the Republican votes, so much has changed. We have so many absentee ballots in Paradise, I heard they began to count them very early this morning to get a head start on results.

    On the short drive home, I noticed only two campaign posters — one attached to a stop sign and the other a light pole. The Vote for Ron Paul poster seemed out of place here, but anyone’s would. But his posters are the only ones I’ve seen anywhere in the last couple of weeks. Even bumper stickers have been rare. Although I did notice one plastered on the bumper of a Lexus when I was walking the dog yesterday. And then there was that forty-something woman who was standing on the center divide early this morning with a huge homemade sign that encouraged passers by to cast their vote for Obama… And the youger woman outside the mall with a small, but official looking Vote for Hilary sign in one hand hanging next to her side, and a much larger, homemade Obama sign in her other, held high above her head.

    Still undecided?

    What did Obama say during the debate with Hilary in Hollywood the other night?

    “I’m right on Day One.”

    And I believe it more than I’ve believed anything in a very long time.

  • Politics & Paradise: What’s your vote?

    *If you want to make a comment, please click on the title of the post…sorry. Don’t know why the comment button at the bottom of the post isn’t functional. I’ll get around to figuring it out after I’m done complaining.*

    I’ve been biting my tongue about politics and the various campaigns for the presidency. It isn’t because I don’t have an opinion. Hell will freeze over before I am caught without an opinion, let alone one as important as how the next four to eight years of my life will be influenced. That’s right. When you really get down to business, it’s really all about me.

    Just kidding.

    But I have been circling my wagons, and keeping an eye on the situation. It’s quite challenging to watch debates like the one CNN aired last night when I was lovingly kneading what would turn out to be a fragrant braid of Finnish Pulla. Does Mitt Romney ever, EVER stop talking? And does he ever NOT have that smirk on his face? I can barely bring myself to listen to anything he says. And when I hear him, I don’t believe any of it.

    Remember the old Charlie Brown cartoons on television? When the adults spoke, they sounded like, “Mwha-wah-wha-mwah-wah-ah…”. That would be Mitt for me, except his diatribe is more like, “blahblahblahblahdee-blahdee-blahhhhhhh. Chuckle.” Go ahead and plug your nose, grin like a silly ass and try it. It’s annoying. He’s annoying. His eyes are glittery, which can’t be good. And he’s accomplished at the “he said, she said” junior high school game which doesn’t look good on a man in his position. Wait. Dubyah’s good at it, too.

    Ugh. It’s all so depressing. *this is the part where Chicken Little can be heard saying, “The sky is falling…the sky is falling…”*

    Not too long ago, NPR was interviewing people about the Republican candidate they’d most likely vote for and why, and more than one woman in the “my age” bracket actually mentioned that at least he “looked presidential,” and that’s why they’d vote for him.

    Excuse me?

    Don’t you wonder about people who actually don’t have a problem saying things like that for a national audience? Okay, so ANY audience. Oh. My. Gawd.

    Or my personal favorite comes from women who state that they vote the way their husbands vote. You know, so they won’t cancel each other out? Huh? They’re kidding, right? As much as one might think these voters could be compared to June Cleaver, I’d say June was a tough mother and most likely had Ward voting her way or else he’d be sleeping with the Beev. Yanno?

    (more…)

  • Skip Bil-ary: I’m the man for the job.

    It’s official. I’ve decided I have the qualifications to become a candidate for President of the U.S.A.

    What do you think?


    You Are 5: The Investigator


    You’re independent – and a logical analytical thinker.
    You love learning and ideas… and know things no one else does.Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
    You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world.    At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid.

    Your Fixation: Greed

    Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent

    Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed

    Other Number 5’s: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.

    What Number Are You?

    “Know things that no one else does…” Can you even imagine the number of things DubYah knows that we will never, ever know?  Scary.

    “Refuse to participate in boring conversations…”  Like at press conferences with the media persistently ask why…or how… or when…and DubYah grins and blithely states that he said he wasn’t going to answer those questions.  Because he’s just not gonna do it.  He doesn’t have to.

    “Have the skills to lead the world…”  Think about it — his daddy set things up ahead of time.  And then he just hired all of his daddy’s people.  And he made sure no one ever actually saw Cheney.  Ever.  And setting up the whole hanging chad thing was a good touch just to make sure.

    “Being useless or incompetent…”  Who was it that said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself?  Churchill?  Actually, it was Eleanor Roosevelt.  Okay, so be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Wait.  I already am. (See below)

    “Reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid…”

  • Edsels, Nexters, and Whining Reporters

    I know this constitutes the second politically based commentary I’ve made in a single day, but in the spirit of ranting about “the other side,” I thought, what the hell.

    So finally Fred Thompson has officially declared his candidacy for the Presidency. And although that isn’t a surprise, it is a bit humorous that he chose to sit out the debate the other Republican wannabees were elbowing their way to in New Hampshire at about the same time, in what New York Times writer Susan Saluny described as “[providing] himself a pleasant, risk-free forum, safe from potential negativity and tough questioning from reporters, a debate moderator or the public.” Oh, yes, that would be terrifying, wouldn’t it.

    Uh…are we whining here that someone isn’t playing by the rules? I think it’s pretty funny. Thompson did it because he could. Period. And why not? I’d want to separate myself from that pack as well. I’ve tried to watch them in previous forums, and I just can’t handle it. They’re all so…insignificant. Unimpressive? Typical. Well, except Romney who looks like he should be doing toothpaste commercials. Or selling Grecian Formula for Men.

    The Thompson announcement that ran in our local paper from the Associated Press and The Washington Post included reactions from “some New Hampshire Republicans” who “expressed disappointment, even sounding a bit hurt, that the former U.S. senator from Tennessee didn’t show up.” Being empathetic to the obvious plight those republicans are struggling with (knotted panties), I’m will attempt to put myself in their collective shoes. Somehow it comes out similar to the feeling I imagine one may have if, after being given pre-season football tickets, he arrives at the game to discover that a newly signed and much touted free agent won’t be playing. It doesn’t mean you can’t pick up a newspaper, log on to the Internet, or watch television to find out what will be happening as time goes on.

    The fact that the article continues, stating that “curiosity is giving way to skepticism and maybe even cynicism about [Thompson] in part because of how he’s handling his grand entrance” is what bothers me. Cullen, the New Hampshire GOP Chairman has a bit o’ the sour grapes as well, and reminds me of someone who’s reacting to being snubbed by a desirable invited to an afternoon tea. Get over it.

    I understand that New Hampshire has this bizarre arrogance about their primary and being “first” for eighteen gazillion years, but how many people live there and vote? More importantly, how many of them are people who watch Jay Leno, are inclined to look up a web site to gather information, and then join forums to discuss what they’re learning?

    In case you’ve been wondering whether this means I’m happy that Fred’s hat has been thrown in the ring, think again. I’m more interested at this point in watching the goings on while I sit back and gather my thoughts.

    And I’m fascinated by George F. Will’s piece on Ford’s ’57 Titanic that ran today and the connections I made between what he had to say about an ugly old car and Americans:

    Americans are more discerning and less herdable than their cultured despisers suppose, so what matters most is simple. Good products.

    Are there any out there? It’s going to be tough to weed through the sludge encased in this spin or that, but I’m gearing up for the challenge. Funny thing, though. There is a whole group of individuals who will just make their decision without getting too worked up about any of it.

    PBS’ Judy Woodruff dubbed them “The Nexters” in their broadcast “Generation Next 2.0.” The program documents Nexters’, or “young people between the ages of 16 and 25” “views on life, the future of the country, social activities, technology, and other topics, comparing and contrasting them with previous generations.”

    The conclusion drawn was intriguing: that they are somewhat more conservative than their parents.

    It’s interesting to see how the younger set’s inclinations with respect to the election are being tracked…Very.

    I think I’ll stay tuned. Edsel, anyone?

  • Don’t try to follow this train of thought…

    Okay, who’s the person that found my blog with a “motorcycle butt creme” search? Come on, you guys. I don’t write about that sort of thing…yet. But I couldn’t resist checking it out, and Golly Wally, I was the first hit! Of course, three hits down I found what the person was actually looking for — assistance from his online buddies about his Alaskan Buttpad:

    “I have a med on my strom seat as well, but my issue is the nose flying up when I stand up on the pegs. Then I have to spend the next minute or two pulling it out of my crotch, which results in weird looks and just general discomfort and a lot of frustration on my part.” Huh?

    Well, actually it looks like a pretty cool site, and you don’t even have to be a motorcycle owner to join their community. All righty then. My previous googlized reference to butt + creme was the odd connection between the advertising selected to sit alongside this commentary, and this snark session referenced here. But they’re both old news now. What’s really hot today is….you guessed it… American Noodle!

    Evidently, we’re all going to be sucked into the sensation of Fan-jaya-land soon. How about if I say let’s not, and say we did. I’m tired of his hair and charm as much as I’m sick of Haley Scarnatto’s blatant display of boobs (can’t call it cleavage because they just, well — hang there) and legs. UGH. Blink, blink, jiggle.

    What’s really news is that the Democratic Big Dogs are neck and neck in amassing their political war dollars so that we can be doused with rhetoric for the next, well, according to my desktop widget, 600 or so days. You do have one of those Bush countdown widgets, don’t you? I have mine wedged right next to my beloved whoopie cushion widget so that I can release pent up tension at will.

    As stated in Reuters “corrected” article today, Obama’s recent surge in the cash department or,”‘overwhelming response, in only a few short weeks, shows the hunger for a different kind of politics in this country and a belief at the grassroots level that Barack Obama can bring out the best in America to solve our problems,’ said Penny Pritzker, the finance chair for Obama’s campaign.”

    According to other sources, there is a new threat on the horizon to at least keep things interesting for Mrs. Clinton and her camp, who must have called Reuters this morning shortly after the first story aired about campaign funds, forcing the “correction.” Fred Thompson may be close to throwing his hat in the ring. Huh? You know, the guy who’s been in Tom Clancy movies and that TV show, Law and Order. He is a former U.S. Senator from Tennessee. This guy. Evidently there’s some serious potential voter lust growing for him out there in cyberland. It’s hilarious that he’s from the same county whose paper recently dropped Snarkann Coulter’s syndicated column for her continued inability to control her vomitous oral emissions. I wonder whether she thinks Fred is hot, too? Maybe she just likes guys from Tennessee, or guys with Southern accents in general and doesn’t know how to properly express herself. Buy enough batteries for this one, gentlemen.

    But enough of this drivel. Today is a day with no one at home but me. My Spring Break slacking RT and his cousin, who have been at our house on a major war monger toot for the past few days, have been:

    • blowing up minute military encampments that took hours to set up;
    • shooting air soft pellets at cans before 8am in Paradise;
    • engaging in lengthy sessions of Dawn of War online; and
    • sucking down copious amounts of Black Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola without asking.

    But they have moved on to share themselves with my sister in law for a few days where they will most likely engage in similar behavior. Everyone. The future of America is safe.

    Silence. Ahhhh….