kellementology

life according to me

Tag: Economy

  • Piggy Banks: I’ll bet Warren Buffet had one.

    Cute Piggy Bank If I remember correctly, my sister got a piggy bank for her fourth birthday.  She is the youngest in our family, so it’s never been quite clear as to why my younger brother and myself were passed up on the piggy gifting.  It was a cute little pig — fat-bellied and pink, just like she was when she was little.  She’s thin as a whip now (smart, too…) and no longer has her piggy bank (thanks to the bottom-dwelling loser who crawled through her bedroom window and broke it, stealing her money…), but I’m thinking that owning one while she was growing up must have put the idea of saving into her brain in a fierce kind of way.  By the time she was 20, she had a nice little nest egg in the bank, a flashy sports car, and her own condominium.

    Yes, she did.

    My brother and I have never been as thrilled as she has been to save money, and I’m thinking it’s because we didn’t have piggy banks.  You know, tainted at an early age?  Marked and doomed to be spend thrifts?  We must have thought that money grew on trees, or that we’d make excellent tax payers when we grew up.  You know, sort of simulate the economy single handedly?  I know Uncle Sam probably has a special place reserved for each of us some day…

    …AFTER we all survive the financial doom and gloom that continues to unfold before us all.

    I recently bought a very cute piggy for one of my nieces who turned two, thinking not only that it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen, but that maybe I could accomplish a few thing with my purchase (since I never bought one for my three sons or any of my nieces or nephews except the youngest…):I love this Piggy Bank

    1.  Say Happy Birthday to a real cutie pie (and give her the gift that will pay big rewards later in life…SAVINGS, a sense of self-worth, independence, moo-lah — wait, that would be a cow bank…)

    2.  Stimulate the economy by doing more than just clicking ads…(I’m extremely good at this…Ask me how to S.P.E.N.D.)

    3. Support the talented blogger, Lynn of Korff Ceramic Originals who makes these incredibly cute and well-made banks (plus a whole lot more…)

    4.  Out class those who are burying their savings in Folger’s coffee cans in their back yards (which is what my mother would have done if she still had a back yard to dig in…)

    Think about it.

    Piggy banks can be excellent for those of us well beyond toddlerhood, too, right?  It’s never too late to save.  They can be used for incentive:  money for every mile you run, or sit up you complete, or pound you lose. You can save loose change from the washer or your teen aged son’s bedroom floor — your husband’s pockets.  Set a goal and insert the coinage or paper.  It works.  Little by little.

    Hell, if I used one to deposit the money I saved for each glass of wine I didn’t drink, I’d have a nice little nest egg in about a week.  But I worry about the future of all those wineries I stimulate.

    Ask Warren Buffet.  He knows. I’ll bet he had a piggy bank when he was growing up, too. Think about it.  The holidays are around the corner, and Lynn personalizes…How cool is that?
    I’m thinking I just may need more piggy banks…Piggy Bank

  • What to do on a Friday. Or not.

    Since I officially have a J.O.B. now, I get to brag that I get Fridays off. And since I only work four hours a day the other four weekdays, clearly I’m not taxed here. Actually, I knew that it would be just enough time to throw off my blogging responsibilities. So thanks for your patience as I figure it out. Some of you are gifted in that area and manage to work and blog quite effectively. Show-offs. Or is it that you use that company computer? Only on breaks, right?

    So what to do with this Friday and the weekend?

    Grousse a bit about DubYah and the ridiculous “bail out” of the home mortgage catastrophe.

    • How nice that yet again, people who KNOWINGLY got themselves into a mess they can’t get out of get to keep their mess, but have someone else pay for it. Can I get in line for that, please? How can anyone not know that they can’t afford something? No. Way. And the lenders and agents who instigated the whole thing to pad their own wallets and then bail when things began to get soft need to be thrown in the slammer. Losers. They threw Martha in the slammer for something miniscule in comparison, and since this mortgage business is affecting the economy, uh, I’m thinking they need to round the crooks up. The whole “bail out” is a scam, anyway. Sort of along the lines of “Tastes Great! Less Filling.” Tastes great!  Less filling! Serve it up anyway, George. You go right ahead. What. Ever.

    B*tch about a hike in our medical insurance because I had another birthday; its high cost must not have been quite high enough.

    • Mind you, we’ve only had the insurance since this past spring. If Blue Cross would give up sending stoopid statements on high quality shiny paper printed in lots of purdy colors (that just confirm we’re getting hosed monthly because there are only zeros on the statement), they could probably save a zillion dollars. Then they wouldn’t have to charge me the extra money that is just going out the window because we don’t use it. You can’t exactly USE medical insurance with a deductible that rivals the national debt. Welcome to the land of opportunity. The place where you purchase medical insurance just to prevent the loss of a home in the event of a serious medical condition. Wait. I could maybe swing a deal with the banking and mortgage crooks, then not have to pay. Sure.

    Clearly, others understand this is the land of opportunity and the home of the brave.

    • After you rip everyone off, enjoying their hard-earned cash and credit (sans taxes, of course), why not ask for leniency because you want to turn your life around after you’ve had all this fun? *Can I borrow your spoon so I can stick it in my throat and gag?* If the judge believes these two free-loading ass*oles, I have a terrific chunk of land in Paradise that is a veritable rain forest with unlimited water and city politicians who aren’t liars.

    Lest this all depress you, we can look forward to the colors the fashion industry has in store for us all next Spring. Um. I can’t wait. Spring ‘08 Colors The MoH just may be interested in a nice trouser in Snorkel Blue and a shirt with French Cuffs in Spring Crocus. Wait. On second thought, maybe one of Buckler’s designer swim suits. The gold lame.

    http://www.chic.tv/swf/chic_tv_affiliate_player_medium.swf?h=274508D4
    And last but not least — I saw this standing in the grocery line a couple of days ago.

    • A suggestion or two? Tubal Ligation. Condoms. Birth control pills. Strategically positioned stitches. Lobotomy.

    But it’s Friday. So I’m going to spruce up my casita and get ready for the weekend. There’s holiday shopping to be done, a tree to be chosen and to decorate, and maybe…just maybe…another performance of yours truly on ustream.tv this Sunday. Don’t hold your breath for it, though.

    My follow through sucks right now.

    But we’re healthy, damnit.

  • Dear Walmart…

    My journey as a NaBloPoMo-Ho continues into its second day…

    November 2, 2007

    Dear Retailers (and in particular, Big Box Retailers, but specifically, Walmart):

    It has been noted that you have begun to show concern with respect to your sales projections for the upcoming holiday season, and as a result, have begun to slash prices. Evidently, your thinking can be encapsulated in this concept: If the price is low enough, the consumer will want what you want them to want because you want them to and your attorneys always get what you want them to get. Simple.

    I do have some consternation about this kind of thinking. It doesn’t exactly keep me awake at night, because not much does other than my relentless hot flashing, but still, I do think about where your narrow minded economics will end. At some point, someone has to lose. With any luck at all, it will be you, and not the consumer.

    The average consumer is tired of being the poster child for your faulty thinking. Well, except for the consumers who have figured out that they can purchase until they are bankrupt, and then have all their debts excused in bankruptcy court so that someone else has to pay for it. Okay, so the IDEAL consumer, not the average consumer. You know. Honest ones. Where was I? Oh yes…

    However, other considerations force me to acknowledge that if you lose, then you will claim that you will be forced to lay off employees (when all the while your CEOs will reel in massive bonuses even after the Board of Directors gives them a vote of no confidence and asks for their resignation), who are ultimately consumers, who then have no funds to consume consumables in a comfortable fashion. A different perspective could be that if you claim to have high losses, you’ll have fewer resources (minions) to convince consumers (suckers) that they can’t live without a 50″ flat panel plasma television for $998.00 and wouldn’t it make so much sense to get your Christmas shopping done now instead of waiting because wouldn’t you like to impress your holiday guests with this new purchase? Poor, poor unsuspecting consumers will then have to find out that in order to actually see High Def on their newly purchased and initially cheap television, they will have to subscribe for HDTV service and that the industry is sort of dragging in getting more than the basic channels up and running with High Def. Oh, and that warranty? And what about those cables and energy cleaners? Not so cheap. But still. $998.00 does sound good, doesn’t it?

    I’d just like to let you know that I am one of the new “increasingly resistant” consumers that you fear. I’m not coerced by sales or advertising. I don’t make impulsive purchases because you expect me to. I have no trouble at all in resisting any remote urge to “keep up with the Joneses.” No sweat. I will not be in line at your heavily advertised 8 AM sales events with the purple kool-aid drinking lemmings who seem to live for the fighting opportunity to get their hands on a limited number of sales items, and then when they fail, shop because they’re now in your clutches, and spend money on other items. Just like you planned. And you will sigh with relief because they are not spending their money on The Dreaded Gift Card that is such a detriment to your reported earnings.

    I will be content to shop when I feel like it, purchase what I want and continue to hope that the whole point of giving is just that. And that looking for the “just right gift” isn’t because of a sale, or cutting edge, or newest of the new. It’s just the right match for the person I have in mind.

    I won’t be using my home equity like an ATM to fund Christmas, nor do I expect to charge anything that won’t be immediately paid off. I could. But I won’t.

    So just a word of advice.

    Resist upper management when they tell you they have pro-rated product coming your way. Take a stand. Let them choke on it for buying it without consideration for how much inventory you currently have. It’s really not a big deal because they guy who will get screwed in the proposition is the one who okayed the initial purchase.

    Somebody has to be big enough to stop the nonsense. Just say no! Or maybe at least think about it?
    Besides. I’ll be forever indebted to you for not having to watch all the ridiculous advertising that is sure to come this year, acting as if it can tempt me to get out my wallet.

    Good luck to you and your bottom line in the rapidly approaching season. Perhaps you’ll soon come to realize that the projected 4% increase in sales over last year is really just fine. Just practice what The Ideal Consumer has to practice: restraint.

    Thank you for taking the time to consider my thoughts on this matter. I’m off to IKEA.

    Sincerely,

    An Increasingly Resistant Consumer in Paradise

  • B.L.O.B. News

    Now that I’ve been ripped a new a**hole by two very lovely folks from New Hampshire, let’s move on to discuss the great things happening in “other news…”

    Right now, my mother is thinking, “News? If I wanted to know what was going on in the world, I’d watch the news.” Sorry, Mom. I’m not in the mood to write about why one of my cats peed on the floor next to the catbox instead of in the catbox last night, but I am still scratching my head because it’s never happened before. Well, at least with respect to the catbox. I am quite used to boys missing the toilet, but I don’t feel like writing about that, either. Or why the Yack Star is on an “attach her fat self to the side of the leather chair before hoisting herself up to the arm” kick right now.

    She’s. Going. To. DIE. Yack Star

    I’m also not feeling like grousing about neighbors, issues with the new school year, housekeeping — or the lack thereof — or food. Mmmm…food.

    But I am interested in — because it’s my B.L.O.B.* and I can write about it if I want to:

    From the Detroit Free Press: “State gas prices 37-cents higher than national average, no reason why”

    Uh…welcome to our neighborhood. Seriously. I feel for you. For about three seconds. It’s about freaking time someone else had crappy gasoline prices. Any time now, “THEY” will tell us that they’re switching to winter gasoline, whatever the hell that is and we’ll be right back there with yah.Oil Prices

    Western Farm Press: “California hiding behind tiny smelt, not facing reality”

    “Makes you wonder what DWR leaders were thinking when they shut down Delta transfer pumps and told everyone: no big deal. People would just quit drinking water and farmers would stop farming while fish biologists count needles (tiny minnows) in a haystack (the vast California Delta)?”

    OMG — this guy is hilarious. Whatsisname? Harry Cline. Fuh-neeeeee.

    The easy save-the-smelt target is the pumps. You can turn them off and on.”

    I just love this guy and his completely irreverent attitude toward our illustrious politicians. Smelt Hook, anyone?

    BBC News: “Markets fall after dip in US jobs”

    “The surprise 4,000 reduction in the US workforce in August sent the main Dow Jones index down 211 points…”

    Hmmm…how many college students quit their jobs before going back to school each fall? Or which giant, struggling US company released employees instead of being able to renegotiate labor contracts? Wait, it was that huge mortgage company…

    “Analysts fear the job cuts show that the recent market turmoil has spread to the wider US economy.”

    The sky is falling, the sky is falling…I’ve always wondered what “analysts” actually do. You know…work wise..?

    “Michael Metz, chief investment strategist at Oppenheimer & Co in New York, reacted to the latest employment figures with gloom.”

    “It’s dreadful…it seems to me almost inevitable we’re heading for recession,” Mr Metz said.”

    Doom. Gloom. Chicken Little Sorry. I couldn’t resist. No, I didn’t make it. Image credit to: Internet Weekly [dot] org

    Market Watch: “Assessing Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett”

    “Today, the media biz’s juciest smackdown is taking place inside the hallowed halls of CNBC. Maria Bartiromo is fending off Erin Burnett, who is about nine years her junior.”

    I like BOTH of them and what the hell does AGE have to do with it? If this was about two men, there would be NO mention of age. They’re both great — well, except Maria does get a bit worked up on the floor and yells…’Money Honey?’ Now that’s just wrong.

    The Motley Fool: “Curse You, Steve Jobs!” iPhone Brainwash Ad courtesy of iPhone Matters

    “I work hard for my money, and shelling out the $600 for the phone wasn’t easy. But it felt cool having a phone that everyone wanted but not everyone could have. However, with the phone now retailing for $400, the device will be financially accessible to a wider audience. Apple has to know this decision would frustrate its customers who paid nearly 33% more for the phone just over two months ago. So why would it do this?”

    Uh…I get that there are people who get a rush over having the latest and greatest…but to actually write it. Like this? What? You’re expecting positive attention for this? She’s joking, right?

    “Apple figured that it could significantly mark up the price initially, as the phone attracted gadget enthusiasts willing to pay premium prices for the phone. But now it feels that it has maximized profits from that market and is now tapping into the lower market in order to keep expanding sales.

    Lower market? Would that be the common folk? Who is this person? I hope I’m supposed to be laughing right now, because otherwise…It reminds me of the sanctimonious attitude of those who, after paying premium prices for real estate, are disgruntled to find that “RENTERS” have moved in next door. The horror of it all.

    “I absolutely love my iPhone, and I may be a bit overzealous about the price drop since it directly affects me…”

    Okay, so I’m laughing?

    MSNBC: “Apple responds to backlash, offers apology”

    “Apple Inc. CEO Steve Jobs apologized and offered $100 credits Thursday to cusomers who shelled out $599 for the most advanced model of the iPhone this summer, only to have the company unexpectedly slash the price $200 in a push to boost holiday sales.”

    So this is a bit like the mortgage default problem — people in California, Arizona, Nevada, and Florida who bought homes with zero percent down loans and never intended to live in them (read Flip That House) are now whining, getting ready to dump the load on everyone else, and hell, if they wait long enough, have Uncle Sam bail their sorry asses out. Yah, I think that sounds about right. They’ll turn around and purchase something else that’s risky. The people who receive the iPhone rebates will go to the Apple store and buy more Apple products.

    iTnews: “Storm worm botnet more powerful than top supercomputers”

    “Sergeant said researchers at MessageLabs see about 2 million different computers in the botnet sending out spam on any given day, and he adds that he estimates the botnet generally is operating at about 10 percent of capacity.”

    Great. At least I can rest easy knowing that I’ll have the opportunity to purchase cheap Viagra, vibrators, knock-off Gucci purses, and no point loans.

    Garlic Spam

    Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, stay tuned for our regularly scheduled programming.

    *B.L.O.B

    Beleaguered Labour of Bullsh*t