kellementology

life according to me

Tag: Thoughtful Thursday

  • Dear Peter Walsh, Organizational Guru…

    I’m making progress here, although today, if it wasn’t for NaBloPoMo, I’d probably take the blogging day off. I’m in high gear on this house organizing frenzy, liking it, and noticing some interesting things about what exactly is organized and what isn’t in this house…and why. Like, the answer is Earth shattering, and everyone’s been waiting for it. For world peace. And stuff.

    November 15, 2007

    Dear Peter Walsh,

    The other day, I actually sat down to watch Oprah. That may not seem to be anything special, but I’ve been a sort of lazy good for nothing but blogging domestic engineer for about a year now, and spend no time watching daytime television. I don’t even think about it. You’re wondering what in hell all this has to do with the price of tea in China, right? So anyway, I actually remembered Oprah, clicked on the television, and there was Celine Dion. I’m a closet Celine aficionado — well, not quite an expert, but still. So I grinned, turned up the volume and sang the entire hour. I just love “I Drove All Night,” don’t you? The Roy Orbison version the best, I mean, he’s incredible, but Celine is great, too. Did you see her show in Vegas? It was completely amazing. I know, I know. You’re thinking I’m less than balanced and I can see that wild look in your eye that lets me know you’re planning your escape route. But stay with me here.

    So there was a commercial during the show that advertised another show coming later in the week. I think it’s airing today. It was about hoarders. I’ve been wondering about the idea of hoarding, and have been thinking of it while I’ve been going through my house. Sorry it takes me so long to get to what I’m talking about. My mind is full of clutter. Things go in and never come out, all up there waiting to be used. It’s a genetic problem. You just never know when someone may need to know what the botanical name for a Bird of Paradise is at the San Diego Zoo when you’re really there to see lions and tigers and bears. Fortunately, the problem isn’t so horrendous that I never get to my point, though, so that’s some relief. Isn’t it?

    But good news! I’m only in the mild to minimal category on the Hoarding Severity Scale. And according to my Clutter Assessment Results, I am a clutter victim, who can blame a “busy life” (um…car pool four times a week and two blogs? No.), “disposable income” (he’s kidding, right? What? You didn’t know money grows on a tree on our patio? Feh.), “and a steady influx of purchases” (well, okay, but they’re mostly food related, so they don’t stay around long…), and “junk mail” (erm, no one’s going to complain if the post office outlaws that crap. Maybe they could get on that?) Like I was saying…

    Here’s my progress to date. I have a handle on:

    • where all the bills go now (cool folders with LABELS *Woo Hoo!*) Okay so the folders aren’t cool; the labels are. And I will be getting cool folders. Some day after I get organized.
    • the office shelves are great, the closet isn’t too bad, and the stacks are down to a low roar. Of course every time I get my desk organized, someone leaves a tank on it. Sheesh.

    It’s hard to get good help any more, yanno?

      • magazines are now sorted, organized by date, and either recycled or marked and stored (but I’m really lying on this one, because going through the saved issues will take time…and I do have time)

    • the cheese drawer in the fridge (I’m still working on the science experiment that is our veggie bin, but at least it’s not mushy any more)
    • the RT’s bedroom which is much, much cleaner and organized (almost minty fresh and clean) I said almost, okay?

    IMG_0936.JPG IMG_4589.JPG

    Before and After. Not bad, huh? Now to get rid of the bunk bed. Okay, where was I?

    • the laundry room upper cabinets (so I still have to dig into that stoopid lower cabinet that all those plastic grocery bags are stuffed in but it’s scary in there. Really.)

    But I should get credit for some things never, ever being disorganized.

    IMG_4707.JPG

    They’re always perfect. Except when the MoH empties the dishwasher and just puts the wooden spoons on top of the steel utensils, or the measuring cups in this drawer instead of the one next to it. And the wire whips? You have to put them in a particular way. Because.

    The rack below it is also organized by color: greens, reds, blues. So probably a little touch of OCD to add to the mild hoarding tendencies and clutter victim state.

    You could come and help me out since Martha hasn’t accepted my offer yet. You know, maybe hook me up with a nice set of shelves for this lame coat closet that builders still insist on including around here, which is truly ridiculous considering we never have to wear coats. Ever. Shelves would be great. Could you get right on that, please? I need the space for my kitchen overflow.

    And these built in cabinets? What are they for other than hiding things? My cats love to sleep in them, but that’s not the best idea considering everything in the cabinet gets hair all over it and then has to be washed. What would you use them for? Suggestions when you have time, please?

    Well, after you’ve helped that lady who has 75 tons of trash in her house. Which is just plain weird.

    Thanks for your time today. Maybe we can do lunch and discuss the possibilities. Yes?

    Have your people call my people.

    Sincerely,

    Me.

    p.s. Do you know anyone who does windows?

  • Dear Bakersfield Board of Education Members…

    NaBloPoMo: I’m on it with a little hop in my step and a “tally-ho” spirit, raring to go. Onward and upward, and all that sort of rot. To quote my sister when she was very young and we had suffered yet another family trip crammed in the back of the blue VW bug, “Are we there yet?” No, dear. Just keep writing…

    November 8, 2007

    Board of Education Members

    Bakersfield City School District

    Dear Elected Members of the Board:

    I never cease to be amazed that those who choose to sit as members of a school board seem to be obsessed with the most repulsive sort of demagoguery. With respect to this latest example of proof, congratulations.

    I do believe that the U.S. Constitution states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” and although you are most assuredly not members of the U.S. Congress, you are, as are we all, governed by that and all other amendments (even though judges enjoy the freedom to interpret them in their own way).

    Additionally, the California Education Code, Section 220 states that, “No person shall be subjected to discrimination on the basis of sex, ethnic group identification, race, national origin, religion, color, mental or physical disability, or any actual or perceived characteristic…in any program or activity conducted by an education institution that receives, or benefits from, state financial assistance or enrolls pupils who receive state student financial aid.”

    Therefore, your recent decision to place in 2,300 classrooms and other gathering places within your school district posters that read, “In God We Trust,” is inappropriate on several levels. The fact that you feel you’re “not going to accept the agenda of some radical leftists who want to expunge God from public dialogue,” Mr. Vegas, is beside the point.

    The point is that not every one chooses to practice your religion, share in your beliefs, pray to the same god that you do, or pray at all. Perhaps they do not believe there is an entity to pray to. They are entitled to those beliefs just as you are, whether they are in the majority or not. Or should I say “accepted” majority?

    Clearly you think them wrong. That they’re carrying the future of society and its children to hell in a hand basket. One that belongs to “radical leftists.” Perhaps the same “radical leftists” who pay taxes that end up in your school district’s coffers, and with whose funds will be used to pay for the “In God We Trust” posters you will purchase.

    It’s a problem.

    The kids won’t care because it’s just another adult pissing contest that is very “junior high” in its characteristics. The “in” clique got what they wanted, and in the process has engaged in name-calling of anyone who isn’t on their side. If you don’t think $12,000 worth of posters that will soon become faded wall paper should be in our schools, then you’re un-American.

    Because we all know that our beliefs should be plastered on our bumpers, our homes, our classrooms, and on our sleeves. That we’re card-carrying members of the “I Believe” sect and anyone who doesn’t strut it is suspect.

    It makes me sick to my stomach. How do these ridiculous humans get elected? Oh, that’s right. They get elected by other humans who aren’t satisfied wanting what they want for their own children; they want it for everyone else’s as well. Because our children must certainly be what’s wrong with society. Damn them heathens. Actually, what they want is to not have to pay for a private, religious based education. They want us to pay for it.

    Ah, yes. America. The land of opportunity. You, too can have whatever you want, have someone else pay for it, and then complain about it or send it back after you decided you didn’t want it after all.

    In conclusion, you may want to take a look at your district’s budget. This is the time of year when school administrators begin to organize their site finances for the next school year. Since it could be losing quite a bit of state and federal funding due to your self-serving actions, you’ll have quite a bit of adjusting to do to make ends meet. And if you don’t lose the money there, then it will most likely go to court costs when someone files suit over your recent edict. But hey! At least you’ll have pretty posters on your walls that no one will notice in a few months.

    And just think  As board members, you only set policy. The educators then have to scramble to clean up your mess.

    Now that you’ve had your moment in the sun, perhaps you might focus on whether students are ready for college. Hmmm?

    Sincerely,

    An American tax-payer

    Let Freedom Ring

  • Dear Assurance Plus:  Gee, Thanks.

    Dear Assurance Plus: Gee, Thanks.

    Today is the first day of NaBloPoMo. That means I will be posting every day this month. Um…that isn’t too unusual for me, is it? So why did I join? Why not? Regardless, here we are and I’m ready to go, which must mean I’m a NaBloPoMo-Ho. Or something.

    Each day this month, I’ll post a letter to someone whom I believe needs to hear what I have to say. Okay, so I get it that unless they read this, they won’t “hear” it, but still. At least it will get it off my chest, right?

    November 1, 2007

    Assurance Plus, LLC

    3644 E. McDowell Road, Suite 114

    Phoenix, AZ 85008

    To Whom it May Concern:

    I’ve been wanting to contact you for quite some time, but have restrained myself, knowing that if I waited for the end of my year’s contract with you, I’d be able to express myself more articulately without spewing venomous verbiage which you absolutely deserve.

    I’ve learned a great deal from my experience with your interesting scam company about how not to invest money like a complete moron when considering a Home-Based Business. I now know that as much as I consider myself to be an optimist, and at times, someone who is willing to take a calculated risk, one might just call me gullible a total loser. I wouldn’t disagree with that conclusion at this point, and I have you to thank for my new found knowledge and intense skepticism regarding anyone who even acts like they’re going to say there’s really such a thing as a free lunch. In fact, I have a list prepared of what I’ve learned from my experience with you, and will take this opportunity to caution everyone else share my conclusions:

    1. I can be an affiliate of Amazon all by myself if I choose. In fact, I believe I am at this point even if I’ve never earned one penny as one of their affiliates. Although I’ve been an avid customer of Amazon for years, I never was interested in doing anything other than purchasing books, so I never considered looking into what being an affiliate involved. I was busy with my own career, and didn’t have time to even wonder. If I hadn’t been conned by your scam, I wouldn’t know what an affiliate was, and that many, many Internet based businesses offer that option to interested parties AT NO CHARGE. So stupid me.
    2. It doesn’t cost $5,000 to build a website and host that site for a year. It doesn’t even come close to that. Especially one as lame as the one you “customized” for me. (Insert laughter here.) Oh, I forgot. I wasn’t charged $5,000 to build the site and host it. Excuse me! If I remember correctly (I don’t feel like getting out the cheesy notebook you sent which is printed in every font imaginable and how much are you paying how many people to put such a pathetic “resource” together?) Erm…if I remember correctly, the site you built and the hosting would only cost $299. I believe that is quite reasonable. The remainder of the charge was for directing “targeted traffic to my site.” I now know that your method of “driving targeted traffic to my site” is a bunch of shit, and so is your lovely company. If you hadn’t sold me a total scam, I’d never have known any of this. I’m so thankful.
    3. You can only “make money in your sleep” if you’re Warren Buffett. Or Bill Gates. Or Martha Stewart, or Oprah. Okay, so there are some others, but still. I would not be one of those people who make money in my sleep. But like me, lots of people are interested in working from home because they have children, or health issues, or are just fed up with living to work and having it suck the life out of their blood and bones. So I have your slick scam company to thank for confirming what I already knew about not being able to make money in my sleep, and allowing me to do extensive amounts of research after the fact on home-based businesses and free lance jobs. Thanks so much for that opportunity. It comes so rarely in life.
    4. Taking surveys on line is an amazing waste of time, and another scam. It was fun while I was involved in it last winter for a couple of weeks. But all it really did is send you to my doorstep, cause me to accumulate thousands of junk emails, received unwanted products in the mail that I had to call and cancel (which were pretty pricey) and get amazingly clever snail mail about being part of an uber secret sect of humans who have all the secrets for earning unlimited wealth. I did finally get to be a Nielson family and throw my two cents into the pot about what’s on television and whether we actually watch it. So thanks for that. But wait, if the surveys led you to me, then maybe I should be thanking the survey companies…
    5. Putting up stats on the “targeted traffic” can be easily concocted. And amazingly, the stats for said “targeted traffic” just happen to be carefully geared to driving the amount of “targeted traffic” to the site that you said you’d guarantee in a year’s time — about 20 people a day. Woot! Everyone get out your party suits, and get ready to rhumba. You can have some kind of a par-tay with 20 unsuspecting clickers who most likely laughed their asses off when they saw that “portal” to Amazon and thought, “Whose lame idea is this?” when all they really had to do is just go to Amazon. Well, that would be if the visitors indicated in the stats were in fact, real people, instead of someone sitting at a computer and getting paid to click….But I’m sure you weren’t doing that, right? Nah…..So thanks for helping me learn all of that as well.
    6. Being the completely vindictive person that I am, I could have actually used this opportunity after I learned so much, to make something of it. Maybe. But I’d have to be a barracuda to pull that off, and I’m just not wired that way. It did occur to me that if I did try to make something of it, I’d only be making money for you. And because you already had made so much money from stupid me when I simply gave it to you, I felt that you would be satisfied with what you already had. So that sad “portal to my wealth” with “targeted traffic” ready to spend money and who will earn me money even if they don’t spend any money, has just been sitting there for about 10 months now, earning you nothing more.

    In conclusion, I’d also like to thank you for giving me back $1,000 when I suggested all of the above to you on the phone that day. It’s only a drop in the bucket, but still, it’s $1,000, and even though it’s my money, and you really didn’t do anything, I’m still grateful.

    Good luck to you and your parasitic organization. I hope that locusts swarm in and around your immediate vicinity and that you are plagued with destructive spam and hard drive destroying worms you have success in educating other people sooner than you’ve educated me about how not to make money in my sleep with a home-based business being an affiliate of a company I could be an affiliate of if I wanted without spending money.

    I am forever grateful.

    Sincerely,

    Me.

    p.s. And I have two of my own sites, now, too. So I guess I have you to thank for learning about how to do that, too. Sort of.

  • Get Out Your Deflector Shields

    Yanno, I was going to have a lovely, quiet morning. Feh.

    After a much needed eleven hours of sleep last night (evacuated relatives, non-stop fire coverage, no school, no work, and a busy Las Vegas weekend) I stretched, poured my coffee and began to plan my day. Fire coverage is dwindling (thankfully and finally), the Santa Ana winds have completely died, and fire fighters are focused on what’s remaining — still a concern, but nothing like it was even a day ago.

    I was cozied up to the MoH’s laptop (instead of my beloved mac since the RT is home and is putting in iTunes time) getting ready to do a bit of research on a recipe I’m going to tackle and I came across this article.

    Dunce Cap Remember when I had the nuclear melt down over the Jeep Princess a week or so ago? Well, that was mild in comparison to the flare of heat I felt when I read it. The rush of anger, barage of razor sharp opinions, and flow of thoughts bottled for the better part of a year made their presence known. Matilda the Hun is alive and well in the smoke-filled skies of Paradise.

    And to put the turd in that caustic punch bowl…

    Dub-yah just landed in Air Force One to survey the burn areas.

    I was going to go get paint for the RT’s room, which we’ve been sanitizing and organizing together. Miracles do happen. I was going to be physically constructive for the better part of the day instead of exercising my agile fingers and brain. But the article was a serious deterrent. And Dub-yah is guilty by association with NCLB.

    Before I really get going, consider this: In his sophomore English class, the RT has to read whatever he wants — at least 100 pages a week. No big deal. He has to keep a list of what he reads and make a couple of entries in a notebook. No guidelines, just a note or two about each item he’s read. At the end of six-weeks, the teacher will go around the class, look at each list, “pick one of the items on the list” then expect the students to write about that item in class for a grade. Can the RT do this? Of course. The kid reads. He always has. And yes, he can write about what he reads, if the teacher is willing to subject herself to his tortuous handwriting. But what is the real point of the exercise? To catch the students who can’t, don’t, or haven’t read? Or to confirm the original assessment that their writing skills are seriously lacking, and that even though you haven’t taught them anything to begin to correct this problem, you’re going to test them? A test is supposed to be a measure of more than just a student’s learning. It’s a measure of the effectiveness of one’s teaching, also. Or the quality of the test. Or the material taught. Or the motivation of the students. Or the motivation of the teacher. Okay, so this is going no where fast.
    This video sums things up fairly well.

    Until everyone — EVERYONE stops thinking that “things” should remain the same as in the good ol’ days, and that what and how you and I were taught should be fine because “we turned out just great…” then we’re part of the problem. Unfortunately, a very large portion of the teaching force is part of the obstacle to change. A huge number of teachers are reaching retirement, and although many have had productive careers influencing countless children in positive ways, the sheer idea of having to learn radically different techniques that involve a strong understanding of how technology works is something less than attractive for many. Not all. Many.

    Those interested in learning are facing obstacles caused by the dysfunctional system, the equipment, and the often less than knowledgeable quality of support staff. I’m sure I’ll burn with the politically incorrect in hell for making these statements — another problem. The world of education is quite two-faced. Face to face, it’s all peaches and rainbows. Behind the scenes, it’s all snarking and biting. It would make a terrific reality show.

    There are newer, more idealistic teachers coming into the profession, some of whom are from different professions. And yes, they have much to learn from their more experienced colleagues, and should definitely listen. But it rarely works in reverse, and that’s too bad. Why is it that as we age, we close our minds? We think those younger than us, or from outside our system, lack knowledge and ability. We forget how we felt when we were their age, and what we knew. There is a very odd culture within the educational system that is unlike that of others who understand the value of working together, and sharing ideas. Individuals in the medical profession, engineers. There seems to be a fear that prevents the development of an intellectual community within the educational system. That if you gain certain heights, you’ve forsaken the masses, and are to be questioned. What is that called?

    No, not all teachers exhibit that level of closed mindedness, but many.

    I’ve raised three sons who are pleasant, productive people. They’ve watched some television, played some video games, played some sports, and had to endure some chores to earn an allowance. And they’ve had quite a bit of time to learn to entertain themselves with books and hobbies. To use their imaginations. To feel boredom and develop a willingness to do something about it.

    Unfortunately, they’ve also had a fairly lack-luster experience at school with primarily lecture-driven instruction supported by textbooks that are so sanitized it’s a wonder the information inspires any degree of critical thought. They’ve had county schools, city schools, Montessori schools. They’ve had experienced teachers, new teachers, engaged teachers, and people who should have been encouraged out of the profession before their second year. They’ve attended low-performing schools, mediocre schools, and extremely high performing schools. It doesn’t seem to matter. We’re good at perpetuating the notion that learning occurs in a box in this country. Extremely.

    It would be so easy to launch into a diatribe on parenting at this point because parents are the primary responsibility for their children. But if society acknowledges that not all parents are capable of raising their children appropriately (and they’re not because anyone can have sex, and unfortunately children can’t choose their parents), then the educational system has got to provide. (Rush Limbaugh is probably choking right now…) And what is provided can’t be the same across a district, or a county, a state, or the country. That thinking persists because it’s easy. That thinking persists because we’ve been doing it for so many years.

    That thinking will persist until the people who work in the public education system work together to change their thinking.

    It’s not challenging. You just have to be willing to wrap you head around the idea that things are possible instead of not. It’s called optimism. Optimists are shot down in the educational system. Those who stand out and work to achieve different possibilites are frowned upon and talked about. Surely, innovation is suspect. Negativity and snarking about “the pendulum” swinging back again inevitably begin. How nice to be able to act in such a sanctimonious way. To think that the kids are going to hell in a hand basket and that you can’t do your job because you’re not being given the same material you used to be given.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but school is supposed to be a place where you actually learn, and not show up to show what you know. Increasingly, it needs to be a place where students learn HOW to learn — impossible if someone is standing in front of the room talking and then assigning homework. When’s the last time you had to sit in a room and just listen to someone who couldn’t possibly know all he or she should know to teach you? Fun, wasn’t it? And yet we subject our kids to that.

    I’m not suggesting that educators aren’t intelligent. No one in any profession can possibly contain all the information necessary to truly teach. Things have changed. Information is available everywhere. Students need their teachers to understand what and where the sources are, teach them how to discern credible information from what is faulty, and push them to develop their own hypotheses and investigate their own theories. Publish their own findings. Constructively argue the validity of their own findings.

    Teachers are the key. They have to be. They can’t continue to complain about their administrators, the parents, the students, the lack of materials, lack of technology, support staff, pay, and stress on the job. All of those issues can be part of the problem, but when has complaining accomplished anything?

    This rant is far from done. But it’s all over the place today, and god forbid that someone out there correct my choice of syntax and punctuation (which is much easier to do than use the questions I’ve posed to analyze and evaluate their own part of the problem).I respect the fact that anyone can stay in a profession for their entire career. That they can look back on their accomplishments and feel good about them. That they can speak as an “expert” because of that experience and make comments about “what the problem is” without considering that they, too, could have a share in being the problem.

    That it can’t possibly be only the students. That it can’t possibly just be their parents. That it can’t possibly be just the administration, or the lack of funding, or the feds. That maybe. Just maybe. They are partially to blame because their thinking, their strategies, their unwillingness to become part of a solution, take action, and let go of their negativity, could be part of “the problem.”

    When you examine the lives of individuals who are successful, and listen carefully to what and whom they’ve been influenced by, rarely to they say it had anything to do with their education. And if it does, it’s a dedicated teacher here or there. A coach, a professor, a dance instructor.

    Ask a writer whether he or she learned to write in school. Rarely, if ever, are they able to attribute their skill, talent, and passion to any writing teacher — unless one considers a particular author a teacher — and I do. So do they.

    Ask yourself to what extent your education inspired you. And not just through the K-12 years, but beyond. And then wonder what works, for whom, and why?

    Or just pat yourself on the back that you made it to the end of this.

  • Still waters

    I’ve caught myself mentioning that I’m calm, or that I’ve nothing to get worked up about these days. That days of unrelenting stress and palpable anxiety are over. For the most part, it’s true, because most of my catalysts have been removed. But I know myself too well. It’s all there. Waiting. Sometimes, I feel that I carry around what has seriously angered me in life, and it surfaces unexpectedly with little provocation.

    A couple of days ago, I jumped in the car to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I didn’t really want to go and know I can easily talk myself out of anything on Earth if given a moment, so glanced at my face in the mirror, put on a few dabs of makeup that wouldn’t fool a two-year-old, and was off.

    It’s only a five minute drive if I don’t hit the traffic lights, and downhill most of the way. But the road is heavily used, winding through compact residential areas, and has the usual 25-35 mph speed limit. Invariably, someone at some point on this very short drive will be in an enormous hurry. It never fails. And that day, the woman had to have been on her way to a fire.

    I could tell, because the image of her steel grey Jeep Cherokee grew in my rearview mirror quickly. The routine goes something like this: speed right up to the next person’s bumper and then slam on your brakes to exhibit frustration with any car that has the audacity to be in the way.

    The person in front of me was doing more than the posted speed limit, and I was right behind, keeping pace. I was, however, also aware of the distance between her rear bumper and my car, and it was a safe distance. Not the three and a half car lengths that I should have been for our speed, but two and three quarters, and safe.

    Unfortunately, the lovely brunette driving the Cherokee behind me didn’t agree. After all but pushing me downhill, and riding my bumper so closely that she could have wrapped her pouty peach lips around my exhaust pipe, she demonstrably parked her left elbow on her door frame, and pushed her head into her palm. Thoroughly. Disgusted. And could I please notice this in my mirror so, like, she could be on her way.

    I’ve often wondered about this particular brand of young female driver, and what their IQ is. Perhaps she wasn’t quite sure about how traffic works. That the car in front of her can’t travel more quickly than the car in front of it. I know it’s a difficult concept to wrap a brain around, but still. Or perhaps her rules are different than mine. I was to have shown some sort of Mean Chick solidarity by riding the bumper of the car in front of me. Show her my indignation. Sure, that would work. Uh, no.

    At some point, the road split into two lanes at a traffic light that had just turned red. I chose to get in the left lane as I’d soon need to make a turn into the store. The Jeep Princess behind me chose to go to the right, ironically behind the woman who had been in front of me. As she pulled up alongside me, I could feel the anger rising up, surprising me with its intensity. My passenger side window was already rolling down, almost involuntarily, and I saw her head turning to look at me in that classic “you moron” move. So predictable.

    I screamed at her through the window before it was down, catching a flicker of surprise on her face. “You stupid b*tch! It’s a little difficult to go as fast as you need me to go with another car in front of me. Sh*t! Perhaps she wasn’t used to getting a reaction out of anyone quite like this. My heart was pounding, and I was amazed at the anger I felt.

    Her defensive and barely discernible smirk just about did me in. What must it be like to feel so entitled, so important, so completely and utterly self-absorbed that the world is at your beck and call. I wanted to jump out of my car and rip her eyeballs out. Mess up her hair. Smear her lipstick. But only for a second. My heart was pounding.

    As the light turned green, I noticed that she was stuck behind the woman who had been in front of me, but her persistence had an interesting effect on the car in front of her. It sped up, and she would soon pass me. At least she had the intelligence to not look at me again as she passed, her elbow perched once again in the window, blocking her face from view. But I caught a glimpse of a smile as she passed and when there was just enough space to get by, pull in front of my car, and speed away.

    As I made my left turn, I could see that she had been forced to make a stop at the next red light, but I felt no vindication because I was still wrapped up in my reaction to the whole thing.

    Where had that anger come from? I’d like to think it’s because tailgating is extremely dangerous and that I’d like to live a very long time and don’t appreciate people who drive like jerks. But I believe it’s much less logical than that.

    I’ve never cared for those who behave so arrogantly that others are expected to bow in their path. They expect. They take advantage. They are brash, and humiliate. They mock, and taunt. And they travel in packs. They cause harm and use and abuse others with no regard for anything but themselves. And then they move on, trashing everything and everyone in their wake.

    Clearly, this isn’t just about a woman in a car who was tailgating.

    And no, I’m not calm.

  • Feh. Thoughtless Thursday. Whatever.

    So much for Thoughtful Thursday.

    I didn’t read the paper today. Well, except my horror-scope.

    I stayed focused for eight entire hours working.

    I did carpool TWICE.

    I ate plain low-fat yogurt with animal feed trail mix for breakfast for the fourth day in a row. Mooooooo-wahhhhh.

    I paid absolutely no attention to the helicopters still circling over that landslide a few blocks over because I completely OD’d on it yesterday.

    I had a nice green apple for a snack. Yum. With salt. Totally.

    I got my work done. Seriously done. Within spittin’ distance of the light at the end of the tunnel. Woot!

    Now my back hurts like a sonnovab*t*ch, which it never does when I blog. Ever. I have college day knots between my shoulder blades screaming for a massage.

    But I’m also signed up for National Blog Posting Month. Are you? Well?

    NaBloPoMo Um… Wait. Do you think it’s a problem that I’ll be in Lost Wages, Nevada BAY-BEE the weekend before Thanksgiving? Oh. And uh…I guess I forgot about Thanksgiving, too. Wait. People blog on that weekend?

    HEY! Who’s idea was this anyhoo?

    But I’m game. Sure. Put me in coach. I’m ready to play.

    SHeeeeee…… it.

  • Thoughts, Clouds, & Billy Collins

    I’m not very good at “Wordless Wednesday” because I’ve never been wordless at any point in my life. As an infant, I most likely had the noisiest brain, making observations and collecting ideas and opinions for a lifetime of blathering. Therefore, I propose Thoughtful Thursday instead, and offer a bit of Billy Collins on the English artist, John Constable and being a “Student of Clouds” from his book of poems Questions About Angels which I truly enjoy.
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    The emotion is to be found in the clouds,

    not in the green solids of the sloping hills

    or even in the gray signatures of rivers,

    according to Constable, who was a student of clouds

    and filled shelves of sketchbooks with their motion,

    their lofty gesturing and sudden implication of weather.

    Morning Clouds

    Outdoors, he must have looked up thousands of times,

    his pencil trying to keep pace with their high voyaging

    and the silent commotion of their eddying and flow.

    Clouds would move beyond the outlines he would draw

    as they moved within themselves, tumbling into their centers

    and swirling off at the burning edges in vapors

    to dissipate into the universal blue of the sky.

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    In photographs we can stop all this movement now

    long enough to tag them with their Latin names.

    Cirrus, nimbus, stratocumulus —

    dizzying, romantic, authoritarian —

    they bear their titles over the schoolhouses below

    where their shapes and meanings are memorized.

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    High on the soft blue canvases of Constable

    they are stuck in pigment but his clouds appear

    to be moving still in the wind of his brush,

    inching out of England and the nineteenth century

    and sailing over these meadows where I am walking,

    bareheaded beneath this cupola of motion,

    my thoughts arranged like paint on a high blue ceiling.

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    The photographs here were taken today at different points between 6am and noon.
    John Constable:  Cloud Study — 1822

    Add a soundtrack of “Blue and White” by Beth Waters, “Storm” by Lifehouse, and “Ocean Size Love” by Leigh Nash, and I can’t think of a better way to spend a Thursday morning after working on my patio trimming and repotting. Nice.